Resume Faux Pas

Steve · 07-13-2017, 04:02 PM

Typos and Grammar Slips:

"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests, 1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
"Accounting cleric."
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

More Resume Blunders:

"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5"."
"Please disregard the enclosed resume--it is terribly out of date."
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."

07-13-2017, 04:02 PM	#1
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Resume Faux Pas Typos and Grammar Slips: "Suspected to graduate early next year." "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." "I am a rabid typist." "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." "Work History: Performed brain wave tests, 1879-1981." "After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work." "Accounting cleric." "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school." More Resume Blunders: "Fired because I fought for lower pay." "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5"." "Please disregard the enclosed resume--it is terribly out of date." "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." "Qualifications: No education or experience." "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." "My compensation should be at least equal to my age." "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately." __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide