glass eye

Dave128 · 06-22-2017, 10:08 AM

A man in a fancy restaurant noticed that a gorgeous woman was sitting at the next table. Suddenly she sneezed, causing her glass eye to pop out and fly toward him. The man caught it mid-air.

"I'm so sorry" the woman said as she popped her eye back in. "Let me buy you dinner."

After the charming dinner conversation, the woman offered to drive the man home.

The man was flattered. "you're the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No" she responded. "You just happened to catch my eye!"

markem · 06-22-2017, 10:13 AM

A man was involved in a terrible car accident. Because of the accident he lost one of his eyes. The doctor explained to him that he could get a fake eye to replace the real one. So the man agrees and chooses the least expensive. A wooden eye.

Some months pass and the mans friends come over to visit him. They are very worried because he has not been out of the house for months. They tell him that there is a party at another friends house that night. The man finally agrees to go.

When they get there people are dancing and having a good time. The man finds a seat in the corner and remains there. The friends find the man again and tell him he needs to get up and dance. Then from across the room a women appears. She is looking at the man sitting in the corner. The mans friends point her out. So he walks over to her to ask her to dance. As he gets closer he realizes she has a hair lip. He thinks to himself, what a pair we would make. My wooden eye and her hair lip.

The man walked up to the women and asked if she would like to dance? And her replay is would I, would I! He points back at her and says hair lip, hair lip.

icehog3 · 06-22-2017, 10:26 AM

Double!

CigarNut · 06-22-2017, 10:41 AM

cthulnado · 06-22-2017, 10:53 AM

This isn't a safe for work joke...

A man gets laid off from the job he's had for 20 years. He is walking down the dark city streets, thinking of doing himself in when suddenly he sees an old work buddy who also was laid off that day. Instead of being depressed, his buddy is walking down the street with a big smile on his face and whistling a tune.

"What the hell man, how are you so happy?!"

"If you go down 2 blocks and turn into the alley, there is a woman there who will give you the most amazing blow job all while singing a beautiful song. I just couldn't be depressed after that!" says his friend.

The man walks down the 2 blocks and turns into the alley. It is very dark, but he can just make out the woman and a table.

"Put your money on the table" the woman says.

The man puts his money down on the table and she unzips his pants. Suddenly he is getting the best blow job of his life, all the while listening to the most beautiful song he has ever heard. He finishes up and heads home, a smile on his face and a song in his heart.

He goes back and visits the woman 3 more times over the week. On the fourth time, he gets curious and brings a flashlight with him. He goes down the alley, puts his money on the table and as she begins he gets excited and drops the flashlight. As it hits the ground, it flashes for a second and all he sees on the table is a glass eye.

Greentud · 06-22-2017, 11:13 AM

and the man says "I'm going out of town but will be back in a week". She replies "I'll keep an eye out for you".

06-22-2017, 10:08 AM	#1
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	glass eye A man in a fancy restaurant noticed that a gorgeous woman was sitting at the next table. Suddenly she sneezed, causing her glass eye to pop out and fly toward him. The man caught it mid-air. "I'm so sorry" the woman said as she popped her eye back in. "Let me buy you dinner." After the charming dinner conversation, the woman offered to drive the man home. The man was flattered. "you're the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No" she responded. "You just happened to catch my eye!" __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

06-22-2017, 10:13 AM	#2
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,621 Trading: (47)	Re: glass eye A man was involved in a terrible car accident. Because of the accident he lost one of his eyes. The doctor explained to him that he could get a fake eye to replace the real one. So the man agrees and chooses the least expensive. A wooden eye. Some months pass and the mans friends come over to visit him. They are very worried because he has not been out of the house for months. They tell him that there is a party at another friends house that night. The man finally agrees to go. When they get there people are dancing and having a good time. The man finds a seat in the corner and remains there. The friends find the man again and tell him he needs to get up and dance. Then from across the room a women appears. She is looking at the man sitting in the corner. The mans friends point her out. So he walks over to her to ask her to dance. As he gets closer he realizes she has a hair lip. He thinks to himself, what a pair we would make. My wooden eye and her hair lip. The man walked up to the women and asked if she would like to dance? And her replay is would I, would I! He points back at her and says hair lip, hair lip.

06-22-2017, 10:26 AM	#3
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,257 Trading: (60)	Re: glass eye Double! __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

06-22-2017, 10:41 AM	#4
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: glass eye __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

06-22-2017, 10:53 AM	#5
cthulnado Still Watching My Back Join Date: Jul 2016 First Name: Joe Location: Baltimore Posts: 133 Trading: (4)	Re: glass eye This isn't a safe for work joke... A man gets laid off from the job he's had for 20 years. He is walking down the dark city streets, thinking of doing himself in when suddenly he sees an old work buddy who also was laid off that day. Instead of being depressed, his buddy is walking down the street with a big smile on his face and whistling a tune. "What the hell man, how are you so happy?!" "If you go down 2 blocks and turn into the alley, there is a woman there who will give you the most amazing blow job all while singing a beautiful song. I just couldn't be depressed after that!" says his friend. The man walks down the 2 blocks and turns into the alley. It is very dark, but he can just make out the woman and a table. "Put your money on the table" the woman says. The man puts his money down on the table and she unzips his pants. Suddenly he is getting the best blow job of his life, all the while listening to the most beautiful song he has ever heard. He finishes up and heads home, a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He goes back and visits the woman 3 more times over the week. On the fourth time, he gets curious and brings a flashlight with him. He goes down the alley, puts his money on the table and as she begins he gets excited and drops the flashlight. As it hits the ground, it flashes for a second and all he sees on the table is a glass eye.

06-22-2017, 11:13 AM	#6
Greentud Still Watching My Back Join Date: Jan 2016 First Name: Michael Location: MA Posts: 53 Trading: (0)	Re: glass eye and the man says "I'm going out of town but will be back in a week". She replies "I'll keep an eye out for you".