Rules For Writing

pnoon · 03-13-2017, 01:52 PM

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you’ve heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

AdamJoshua · 03-13-2017, 01:56 PM

ar ar ar

CigarNut · 03-13-2017, 02:14 PM

Porch Dweller · 03-13-2017, 03:32 PM

dave · 03-13-2017, 03:39 PM

No. 1 should have been:
1. And too many words means few here are actually going to read it

I did get to number 3, however

markem · 03-13-2017, 04:38 PM

Butt remember which speling counts for.

DMK · 03-13-2017, 05:43 PM

I always say... "The more I write, the less they read"

icehog3 · 03-14-2017, 10:36 AM

At work we had to kick back reports that needed corrections.

One of my sergeants posted one of the two funniest I ever saw:

"Check spelling and grammer".

BigAsh · 03-14-2017, 10:43 AM

Brilliant!!

03-13-2017, 01:52 PM	#1
pnoon YNWA Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Peter Location: San Diego Posts: 29,919 Trading: (20)	Rules For Writing 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat) 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. 11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used. 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous. 14. One should NEVER generalize. 15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 16. Don't use no double negatives. 17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 18. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20. The passive voice is to be ignored. 21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. 22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. 23. Kill all exclamation points!!! 24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas. 26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed. 27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 28. If you’ve heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. 29. Puns are for children, not groan readers. 30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 32. Who needs rhetorical questions? 33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally... 34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. __________________ Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. -John Wooden

03-13-2017, 01:56 PM	#2
AdamJoshua Article 4 Free Inhabitant Join Date: Jan 2013 First Name: The Other Adam Location: Satellite Beach Posts: 14,787 Trading: (40)	Re: Rules For Writing ar ar ar

03-13-2017, 02:14 PM	#3
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: Rules For Writing __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

03-13-2017, 03:32 PM	#4
Porch Dweller Life is for living Join Date: Oct 2012 First Name: James Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast Posts: 8,382 Trading: (24)	Re: Rules For Writing __________________ A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone

03-13-2017, 03:39 PM	#5
dave Have My Own Room Join Date: May 2011 First Name: Dave Location: Northern VA Posts: 1,180 Trading: (15)	Re: Rules For Writing No. 1 should have been: 1. And too many words means few here are actually going to read it I did get to number 3, however __________________ I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. Thomas Jefferson

03-13-2017, 04:38 PM	#6
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,621 Trading: (47)	Re: Rules For Writing Butt remember which speling counts for. __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

03-13-2017, 05:43 PM	#7
DMK S.O.B. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Darryl Location: Hamilton, ON. Canada. Posts: 2,747 Trading: (86)	Re: Rules For Writing I always say... "The more I write, the less they read" __________________ Darryl, SOB...

03-14-2017, 10:36 AM	#8
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,257 Trading: (60)	Re: Rules For Writing At work we had to kick back reports that needed corrections. One of my sergeants posted one of the two funniest I ever saw: "Check spelling and grammer". __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

03-14-2017, 10:43 AM	#9
BigAsh Don't knock the Ash... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Keith Location: Yardley, PA Posts: 5,046 Trading: (46)	Re: Rules For Writing Brilliant!! __________________ Keith