Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-06-2016, 06:17 AM   #1
shark
Cigar Smokin' Patriot
 
shark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
First Name: Ron
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,561
Trading: (0)
Bolivar Army (Served With Honor)
shark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of light
Default An Old Flame

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".
"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.
"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."
She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".
"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone....everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fũck off.
__________________
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
shark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2016, 06:24 AM   #2
YankeeMan
Just moved South
 
YankeeMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
First Name: Rick
Location: Tarboro, NC
Posts: 108
Trading: (0)
Partagas
YankeeMan will become famous soon enough
Default Re: An Old Flame

Well played!
__________________
"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional!"
YankeeMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2016, 06:36 AM   #3
dijit
Have My Own Room
 
dijit's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
First Name: Mike
Location: Brownsburg, Indiana
Posts: 2,186
Trading: (48)
Montecristo AirForce (Served With Honor)
dijit is just really nicedijit is just really nicedijit is just really nicedijit is just really nice
Default Re: An Old Flame

A man has got to have standards!
__________________
Sporting goods raffle for a great cause. PM me for tickets.
dijit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2016, 07:28 AM   #4
Porch Dweller
Life is for living
 
Porch Dweller's Avatar
11
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
First Name: James
Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast
Posts: 8,386
Trading: (24)
Bolivar AirForce (Retired)
Porch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: An Old Flame

Sounds about right.
__________________
A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone
Porch Dweller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2016, 11:14 AM   #5
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: An Old Flame

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2016, 11:22 AM   #6
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,266
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: An Old Flame

Actually laughed out loud, very good.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2016, 11:23 AM   #7
The Poet
Il megglior fabbro
 
The Poet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
First Name: Thomas
Location: Hickory, NC
Posts: 8,420
Trading: (2)
The Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud of
Default Re: An Old Flame

So you're not all about the bass, but just about the baser.
__________________
Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.
The Poet is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:29 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.