Nympho Convention

shark · 09-25-2015, 05:28 PM

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

"Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

"I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldberg , but my friends call me Bubba..."

The Poet · 09-25-2015, 05:40 PM

African American. Native American. Jewish. Redneck?

No offense, Ron, and nothing personal, but as a white male born and raised in the South I've grown tired of this casual racism. I consider myself to be a member of the only group in the country that can be attacked and stereotyped without consequences.

Rant off. Thanks for the joke.

shilala · 09-25-2015, 06:16 PM

Lighten up, Francis.
Wait'll I get ahold of you. Redneck is gonna be the least of the things I call you.

Only cause I love ya, brother!!!

The Poet · 09-25-2015, 06:36 PM

Thank you for proving my point, broh. The term is casually used as an insult, yet users don't consider they are insulting anyone when they use it.

shilala · 09-25-2015, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Poet

Thank you for proving my point, broh. The term is casually used as an insult, yet users don't consider they are insulting anyone when they use it.

I get Yank all the time from my southern buds.
Sticks and stones, my good friend.
You and I have way bigger things to worry about than our feelings.
I'm not sure I even have any, and I'm absolutely certain you don't, but it's good to see you swinging a flag, even if it's the Union Jack.

Your point is well taken, even though it's not going to guide my actions.
But between me and you, what's a word?
I wish that was the same way between everyone.
But if there's no love to bridge the gap, it doesn't matter what the words.

dave · 09-28-2015, 07:35 AM

I looked three times for the sarcasm smiley above.....can't seem to find it.

Dave128 · 09-30-2015, 10:45 AM

That was funny, Ron.
Thank you for the laugh.

Brian D. · 09-30-2015, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Poet

African American. Native American. Jewish. Redneck?

No offense, Ron, and nothing personal, but as a white male born and raised in the South I've grown tired of this casual racism. I consider myself to be a member of the only group in the country that can be attacked and stereotyped without consequences.

Rant off. Thanks for the joke.

Well I thought the joke was funny, it actually seemed to skewer the idea of stereotypes rather than cling to them.

If that silly story really offends you, okay, it's a free country, you have that right. I would however, suggest you think twice before spending your entertainment budget on an evening at a comedy club.

czerbe · 09-30-2015, 03:05 PM

While its a free country I feel this country has become way to sensitive to everything anymore. I feel people look to be offended. While I have heard this joke plenty of times it is still funny. Thanks Ron.

PS... no offense

icehog3 · 09-30-2015, 03:14 PM

An oldie but a .......well, an oldie.

shark · 09-30-2015, 05:27 PM

The classics still work!

09-30-2015, 09:29 PM

That there's funny! Good one, Ron!

09-25-2015, 05:28 PM	#1
shark Cigar Smokin' Patriot Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Ron Location: Michigan Posts: 3,561 Trading: (0)	Nympho Convention A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston " He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. "Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. "I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldberg , but my friends call me Bubba..." __________________ Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery None but ourselves can free our minds

09-25-2015, 05:40 PM	#2
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: Nympho Convention African American. Native American. Jewish. Redneck? No offense, Ron, and nothing personal, but as a white male born and raised in the South I've grown tired of this casual racism. I consider myself to be a member of the only group in the country that can be attacked and stereotyped without consequences. Rant off. Thanks for the joke. __________________ Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.

09-25-2015, 06:16 PM	#3
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: Nympho Convention Lighten up, Francis. Wait'll I get ahold of you. Redneck is gonna be the least of the things I call you. Only cause I love ya, brother!!! __________________

09-25-2015, 06:36 PM	#4
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: Nympho Convention Thank you for proving my point, broh. The term is casually used as an insult, yet users don't consider they are insulting anyone when they use it. __________________ Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.

09-28-2015, 07:35 AM	#6
dave Have My Own Room Join Date: May 2011 First Name: Dave Location: Northern VA Posts: 1,180 Trading: (15)	Re: Nympho Convention I looked three times for the sarcasm smiley above.....can't seem to find it. __________________ I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. Thomas Jefferson

09-30-2015, 10:45 AM	#7
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: Nympho Convention That was funny, Ron. Thank you for the laugh. __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

09-30-2015, 03:05 PM	#9
czerbe Just a Traveling Man Join Date: Apr 2012 First Name: Corey Location: Reading Pa Posts: 1,309 Trading: (2)	Re: Nympho Convention While its a free country I feel this country has become way to sensitive to everything anymore. I feel people look to be offended. While I have heard this joke plenty of times it is still funny. Thanks Ron. PS... no offense __________________ Live fast, hard, everyday like its your last.

09-30-2015, 03:14 PM	#10
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,266 Trading: (60)	Re: Nympho Convention An oldie but a .......well, an oldie. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

09-30-2015, 05:27 PM	#11
shark Cigar Smokin' Patriot Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Ron Location: Michigan Posts: 3,561 Trading: (0)	Re: Nympho Convention The classics still work! __________________ Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery None but ourselves can free our minds

09-30-2015, 09:29 PM	#12
badbriar Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Nympho Convention That there's funny! Good one, Ron!