Dating a co-worker

ApexAZ · 12-19-2014, 02:58 PM

So I'm a little over 2 months into a separation with my wife with a divorce in progress and there is this woman whom I have worked with for several years that I am starting to really want to date. We seem to connect on an emotional level, but I've always been tied up in marriage.

I think she is interested, but sometimes not so sure. We've hung out a few times on a purely friendly basis, hiking, car shopping, etc., which honestly isn't the best start of a relationship with someone you wish to be more than just friends with, but considering my divorce and our work relationship, it felt like the right way to approach it to start.

Anyways, we work in very close proximity to one another, but we don't work directly with each other on projects or anything. Normally I would not date someone from work and this would be the first time I ever tried. What are some of your opinions on this subject? I read an interesting statistic that 40% of people have dated someone from work.

Thoughts?

OLS · 12-19-2014, 03:07 PM

Sex is great, issues are not. There is a reason many people swear off this kind of stuff, its called experience.

As magical or as bad as it is, you are too close to her, and when they talk at the office, they talk about YOU.
So when its bad, everyone knows it, and even when its good, its bad for YOU.
I SAY DO IT!
But then get ready for telling me I was right. Having people find out about your intimate biz in the work
place is never a good thing, and its the first thing to happen, outside of the sex and all.

HollywoodQue · 12-19-2014, 03:11 PM

Be very careful Brian....my best friend was recently married for 15 years and just got divorced. My advice to him was to take some time for himself before he started dating on a serious level and just have fun with the ladies in between time.......well, he chose not to listen and got very serious with and old friend from back in the day which just so happened to be about to divorce also..well needless to say...all went well for several months until they realized that they were only together to compensate for the empty space they felt due to divorce . In your case if things don't work out between you two..you still have to work with each other which can create a bad work environment for the both of you....hope this helps and good luck...

hotreds · 12-19-2014, 03:45 PM

Not recommended! See above.......

CigarNut · 12-19-2014, 03:54 PM

If nothing else, it would be worth having a conversation with her to see if you guys are even on the same page...

massphatness · 12-19-2014, 03:59 PM

I vote no -- the potential for problems is not worth the slim chance it will work out

G G · 12-19-2014, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by massphatness

I vote no -- the potential for problems is not worth the slim chance it will work out

I would have to concur with the Vinster on this.

shark · 12-19-2014, 04:31 PM

Personal life and professional life should always be separate.

ironchefscott · 12-19-2014, 04:38 PM

I hate to join the choir....but yea it will get messy 95% of the time
Wise man said.....don't get your meat where you get your bread

pnoon · 12-19-2014, 04:42 PM

Nope. Bad idea.

Posted via Mobile Device

bobarian · 12-19-2014, 04:46 PM

I agree with the others. Not recommended. If things turn South, you had better be prepared to look for another job.

pektel · 12-19-2014, 04:55 PM

There are a lot of fish in the sea. No sense dipping your lure into the company pool.

gettysburgfreak · 12-19-2014, 05:11 PM

I met my wife at work. I was there almost a year before she got there. I scooped her up from the get go and haven't looked back. A lot of guys told me don't **** where you eat but I ignored their advice and it worked out in my case. It can definitely be challenging to know the same people, see each other constantly and have people know your business but I wouldn't trade my wife for anything so for me those things don't outweigh having her.

RobR1205 · 12-19-2014, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by massphatness

I vote no -- the potential for problems is not worth the slim chance it will work out

I also agree with Vin. I think relationships in the workplace should be professional. I don't even like being facebook friends with the people I work with. That might be a little extreme for some, but that's the way I prefer it personally.

T.G · 12-19-2014, 05:18 PM

Depends, is she hot?

BlkDrew · 12-19-2014, 05:19 PM

I met my wife at work also, but she was only there for a year and we worked different shifts

pektel · 12-19-2014, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.G

Depends, is she hot?

Valid question.

RobR1205 · 12-19-2014, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ironchefscott

...don't get your meat where you get your bread

I was thinking of another expression, but this one works too

shark · 12-19-2014, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobR1205

I also agree with Vin. I think relationships in the workplace should be professional. I don't even like being facebook friends with the people I work with. That might be a little extreme for some, but that's the way I prefer it personally.

+1. I definitely agree with that. Personally, I don't even share personal life events, unless they're major things that could affect my work performance/attendance, with my coworkers or employer.

Ashcan Bill · 12-19-2014, 06:14 PM

I met my wife at work. Second time around for both of us. We worked in different departments so there was never any conflict, either real or perceived. After we married, she eventually left the company for a better opportunity but we never had any problems professionally while we were both there. Never had any problems personally either.

We've been married 18 years now and we grow ever closer as time goes on. We worked for a major Fortune 100 company, and there were several married couples at the plant.

My dad met my mom at the company they both worked for. Likewise my uncle and his wife. They all went the distance. Not all work relationships end up being horror stories. It depends on the maturity and emotional stability of those involved.

12-19-2014, 02:58 PM	#1
ApexAZ Wandering aimlessly Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Brian Location: Sonoran Desert Posts: 1,299 Trading: (10)	Dating a co-worker So I'm a little over 2 months into a separation with my wife with a divorce in progress and there is this woman whom I have worked with for several years that I am starting to really want to date. We seem to connect on an emotional level, but I've always been tied up in marriage. I think she is interested, but sometimes not so sure. We've hung out a few times on a purely friendly basis, hiking, car shopping, etc., which honestly isn't the best start of a relationship with someone you wish to be more than just friends with, but considering my divorce and our work relationship, it felt like the right way to approach it to start. Anyways, we work in very close proximity to one another, but we don't work directly with each other on projects or anything. Normally I would not date someone from work and this would be the first time I ever tried. What are some of your opinions on this subject? I read an interesting statistic that 40% of people have dated someone from work. Thoughts?

12-19-2014, 03:07 PM	#2
OLS Suck It Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Brad Location: TN Posts: 7,912 Trading: (19)	Re: Dating a co-worker Sex is great, issues are not. There is a reason many people swear off this kind of stuff, its called experience. As magical or as bad as it is, you are too close to her, and when they talk at the office, they talk about YOU. So when its bad, everyone knows it, and even when its good, its bad for YOU. I SAY DO IT! But then get ready for telling me I was right. Having people find out about your intimate biz in the work place is never a good thing, and its the first thing to happen, outside of the sex and all.

12-19-2014, 03:11 PM	#3
HollywoodQue Invictus Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Howard Location: In the "D" Posts: 3,123 Trading: (46)	Re: Dating a co-worker Be very careful Brian....my best friend was recently married for 15 years and just got divorced. My advice to him was to take some time for himself before he started dating on a serious level and just have fun with the ladies in between time.......well, he chose not to listen and got very serious with and old friend from back in the day which just so happened to be about to divorce also..well needless to say...all went well for several months until they realized that they were only together to compensate for the empty space they felt due to divorce . In your case if things don't work out between you two..you still have to work with each other which can create a bad work environment for the both of you....hope this helps and good luck... __________________

12-19-2014, 03:45 PM	#4
hotreds Ephesians 2:8 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 5 miles past "Resume Speed" Posts: 11,665 Trading: (63)	Re: Dating a co-worker Not recommended! See above....... __________________ God loves you so much, that he made you read this, just to let you know.

12-19-2014, 03:54 PM	#5
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: Dating a co-worker If nothing else, it would be worth having a conversation with her to see if you guys are even on the same page... __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

12-19-2014, 03:59 PM	#6
massphatness Where's my buffaloooo ... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Vin Location: MassHolia Posts: 12,690 Trading: (206)	Re: Dating a co-worker I vote no -- the potential for problems is not worth the slim chance it will work out __________________ *Help Support The Navy SEAL Foundation: HERE*

12-19-2014, 04:31 PM	#8
shark Cigar Smokin' Patriot Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Ron Location: Michigan Posts: 3,584 Trading: (0)	Re: Dating a co-worker Personal life and professional life should always be separate. __________________ Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery None but ourselves can free our minds

12-19-2014, 04:38 PM	#9
ironchefscott Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Apr 2012 First Name: scott Location: Portland, OR Posts: 363 Trading: (5)	Re: Dating a co-worker I hate to join the choir....but yea it will get messy 95% of the time Wise man said.....don't get your meat where you get your bread

12-19-2014, 04:42 PM	#10
pnoon YNWA Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Peter Location: San Diego Posts: 29,919 Trading: (20)	Re: Dating a co-worker Nope. Bad idea. Posted via Mobile Device

12-19-2014, 04:46 PM	#11
bobarian Cranky Habanophile Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Wine Country Posts: 8,869 Trading: (51)	Re: Dating a co-worker I agree with the others. Not recommended. If things turn South, you had better be prepared to look for another job.

12-19-2014, 04:55 PM	#12
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: Dating a co-worker There are a lot of fish in the sea. No sense dipping your lure into the company pool. __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

12-19-2014, 05:11 PM	#13
gettysburgfreak Patriot Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Mitten Posts: 1,442 Trading: (2)	Re: Dating a co-worker I met my wife at work. I was there almost a year before she got there. I scooped her up from the get go and haven't looked back. A lot of guys told me don't **** where you eat but I ignored their advice and it worked out in my case. It can definitely be challenging to know the same people, see each other constantly and have people know your business but I wouldn't trade my wife for anything so for me those things don't outweigh having her. __________________ Author ofeath, Disease, and Life at War: The Civil War Letters of Surgeon James D. Benton, 111th and 98th New York Infantry Regiments, 1862-1865.

12-19-2014, 05:18 PM	#15
T.G Grrrrrr Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: The Other Adam Posts: 15,557 Trading: (37)	Re: Dating a co-worker Depends, is she hot?

12-19-2014, 05:19 PM	#16
BlkDrew Rolling my own... Join Date: Dec 2009 First Name: Andrew Location: Rochester NY Posts: 807 Trading: (43)	Re: Dating a co-worker I met my wife at work also, but she was only there for a year and we worked different shifts

12-19-2014, 06:14 PM	#20
Ashcan Bill Ol' Dude Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bill Location: Henderson, NV Posts: 1,901 Trading: (6)	Re: Dating a co-worker I met my wife at work. Second time around for both of us. We worked in different departments so there was never any conflict, either real or perceived. After we married, she eventually left the company for a better opportunity but we never had any problems professionally while we were both there. Never had any problems personally either. We've been married 18 years now and we grow ever closer as time goes on. We worked for a major Fortune 100 company, and there were several married couples at the plant. My dad met my mom at the company they both worked for. Likewise my uncle and his wife. They all went the distance. Not all work relationships end up being horror stories. It depends on the maturity and emotional stability of those involved.