Clacko the Clown

MajorCaptSilly · 03-13-2013, 01:04 PM

Clacko wasn't the best clown in the world but certainly wasn't the worst. He could make a good balloon animal and had some great magic tricks. Clacko's greatest skill, however, was the pratfall. Clacko maintained a clause in his contract that he would be provided with an area of at least 100 square feet for his performance so that he would have adequate room for a good landing.

Clacko was hired to perform his biggest birthday celebration ever. The owner of the local John Deere dealership was throwing a big shindig for his 8-year-old boy, Rufus. Rufus' dad invited every family in town that had a child from age 0 to 12 to the party. There were more than 100 families in attendance at the party which was held at the John Deere dealership. All the tractors were removed from the enormous showroom so there was plenty of room for all the people, the buffet, the cake, and of course, Clacko the Clown.

The party was a huge success. It was one of those few events that absolutely nothing could go wrong. The food was great and plentiful. The children were well-behaved, and not even a single balloon popped during the event which meant no startled children.

Clacko the Clown was in the zone. This was his biggest event ever and he knew that if it went well, he would get bookings for every birthday for every child in the place. Clacko's makeup was perfect and he even purchased a brand new wig, nose, and shoes. He made his way to the performance area which was larger than his contract required. Clacko mesmerized children and adults alike with magic tricks, balloon animals (not just animals but DRAGONS!), and a series of tasteful but funny jokes that everyone found hilarious.

It was near the end of Clacko's perfect performance. Clacko the Clown had prepared his best pratfall ever. His intention was to do an amazing ballet dance to "Flight of the Bumblebee" and at the end of a huge jump, slip on a banana peel and fall on his butt. Upon landing, Clacko rigged several confetti bombs in his suit that would be triggered as soon as his butt hit the ground. As he went down, the confetti would go up in a cloud and land all around him.

As was the case for the rest of the party, Clacko's finale was pure perfection. The crowd was amazed that he could move so gracefully wearing those huge shoes. His pratfall was legendary. As he hit the banana peel, both legs came up a full three feet and his confetti bombs all detonated right on cue. The crowd cheered and started chanting Clacko! Clacko! Clacko!

As the party was winding down, Rufus' dad brought Rufus over to thank Clacko for the great performace. Rufus went right up to Clacko and shook his hand and said "This was my best birthday ever!". Rufus' dad asked Rufus if there was anything else he wanted to say to Clacko. Rufus thought for a bit then said "I don't plan on carrying on the family business of selling tractors. My passion lies in anthropology."

MCS

Subvet642 · 03-13-2013, 01:13 PM

Did we somehow forget the punchline?

markem · 03-13-2013, 01:15 PM

rim shot. Can I get a rim shot for table 3, please?

MajorCaptSilly · 03-13-2013, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subvet642

Did we somehow forget the punchline?

Not me.

MCS

Subvet642 · 03-13-2013, 01:32 PM

I'm sorry, I don't get it, unless it's a commentary on clowns as some sort of anthropological oddity...

MajorCaptSilly · 03-13-2013, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subvet642

I'm sorry, I don't get it, unless it's a commentary on clowns as some sort of anthropological oddity...

Yes.

MCS

Subvet642 · 03-13-2013, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

Yes.

MCS

Ah!

cmitch · 03-13-2013, 02:26 PM

I missed the class on Coulrophobia.

czerbe · 03-13-2013, 03:11 PM

Crickets.......

icehog3 · 03-13-2013, 03:27 PM

I am in love with Clacko.

14holestogie · 03-13-2013, 03:56 PM

Bravo. Major. Captain. Silly.

Those that get you, do. Those that don't, do too.

MajorCaptSilly · 03-13-2013, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by czerbe

Crickets.......

I love Buddy Holly!

MCS

mkarnold1 · 03-13-2013, 04:16 PM

Hahaha I read the whole thing. Joke's on me!

G G · 03-13-2013, 04:32 PM

Did someone say Cake?

markem · 03-13-2013, 05:05 PM

Nebulous
Posted via Mobile Device

MajorCaptSilly · 03-13-2013, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I am in love with Clacko.

You seem to fall in love every time I post. I think I'm your muse.

MCS

MajorCaptSilly · 03-13-2013, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

Nebulous
Posted via Mobile Device

Ulterior

MCS

T.G · 03-13-2013, 05:31 PM

pnoon · 03-13-2013, 05:50 PM

gzornblt

icehog3 · 03-13-2013, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

You seem to fall in love every time I post. I think I'm your muse.

MCS

That, and the wind beneath my wings.

03-13-2013, 01:04 PM	#1
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Clacko the Clown Clacko wasn't the best clown in the world but certainly wasn't the worst. He could make a good balloon animal and had some great magic tricks. Clacko's greatest skill, however, was the pratfall. Clacko maintained a clause in his contract that he would be provided with an area of at least 100 square feet for his performance so that he would have adequate room for a good landing. Clacko was hired to perform his biggest birthday celebration ever. The owner of the local John Deere dealership was throwing a big shindig for his 8-year-old boy, Rufus. Rufus' dad invited every family in town that had a child from age 0 to 12 to the party. There were more than 100 families in attendance at the party which was held at the John Deere dealership. All the tractors were removed from the enormous showroom so there was plenty of room for all the people, the buffet, the cake, and of course, Clacko the Clown. The party was a huge success. It was one of those few events that absolutely nothing could go wrong. The food was great and plentiful. The children were well-behaved, and not even a single balloon popped during the event which meant no startled children. Clacko the Clown was in the zone. This was his biggest event ever and he knew that if it went well, he would get bookings for every birthday for every child in the place. Clacko's makeup was perfect and he even purchased a brand new wig, nose, and shoes. He made his way to the performance area which was larger than his contract required. Clacko mesmerized children and adults alike with magic tricks, balloon animals (not just animals but DRAGONS!), and a series of tasteful but funny jokes that everyone found hilarious. It was near the end of Clacko's perfect performance. Clacko the Clown had prepared his best pratfall ever. His intention was to do an amazing ballet dance to "Flight of the Bumblebee" and at the end of a huge jump, slip on a banana peel and fall on his butt. Upon landing, Clacko rigged several confetti bombs in his suit that would be triggered as soon as his butt hit the ground. As he went down, the confetti would go up in a cloud and land all around him. As was the case for the rest of the party, Clacko's finale was pure perfection. The crowd was amazed that he could move so gracefully wearing those huge shoes. His pratfall was legendary. As he hit the banana peel, both legs came up a full three feet and his confetti bombs all detonated right on cue. The crowd cheered and started chanting Clacko! Clacko! Clacko! As the party was winding down, Rufus' dad brought Rufus over to thank Clacko for the great performace. Rufus went right up to Clacko and shook his hand and said "This was my best birthday ever!". Rufus' dad asked Rufus if there was anything else he wanted to say to Clacko. Rufus thought for a bit then said "I don't plan on carrying on the family business of selling tractors. My passion lies in anthropology." MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

03-13-2013, 01:13 PM	#2
Subvet642 Bilge Rat Join Date: Nov 2009 First Name: Darren Location: Torpedo Room Bilge Posts: 2,997 Trading: (13)	Re: Clacko the Clown Did we somehow forget the punchline? __________________ *"Man's mind is his basic tool of survival. Life is given to him, survival is not." -John Galt*

03-13-2013, 01:15 PM	#3
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Clacko the Clown rim shot. Can I get a rim shot for table 3, please? __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

03-13-2013, 01:32 PM	#5
Subvet642 Bilge Rat Join Date: Nov 2009 First Name: Darren Location: Torpedo Room Bilge Posts: 2,997 Trading: (13)	Re: Clacko the Clown I'm sorry, I don't get it, unless it's a commentary on clowns as some sort of anthropological oddity... __________________ *"Man's mind is his basic tool of survival. Life is given to him, survival is not." -John Galt*

03-13-2013, 02:26 PM	#8
cmitch Heads up get down Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Clayton Location: NW Alabama by the river Posts: 2,720 Trading: (25)	Re: Clacko the Clown I missed the class on Coulrophobia. __________________ No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.

03-13-2013, 03:11 PM	#9
czerbe Just a Traveling Man Join Date: Apr 2012 First Name: Corey Location: Reading Pa Posts: 1,309 Trading: (2)	Re: Clacko the Clown Crickets....... __________________ Live fast, hard, everyday like its your last.

03-13-2013, 03:27 PM	#10
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,440 Trading: (60)	Re: Clacko the Clown I am in love with Clacko. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

03-13-2013, 03:56 PM	#11
14holestogie Serial banter killer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tim Location: Clintonville, WI Posts: 4,341 Trading: (52)	Re: Clacko the Clown Bravo. Major. Captain. Silly. Those that get you, do. Those that don't, do too. __________________ *I loves me a Parti*

03-13-2013, 04:16 PM	#13
mkarnold1 Skol Vikings! Join Date: Sep 2011 First Name: Mark Location: St. Charles, MN Posts: 1,015 Trading: (22)	Re: Clacko the Clown Hahaha I read the whole thing. Joke's on me! __________________ [Help out the troops!

03-13-2013, 04:32 PM	#14
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: Clacko the Clown Did someone say Cake?

03-13-2013, 05:05 PM	#15
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Clacko the Clown Nebulous Posted via Mobile Device

03-13-2013, 05:31 PM	#18
T.G Grrrrrr Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: The Other Adam Posts: 15,557 Trading: (37)	Re: Clacko the Clown

03-13-2013, 05:50 PM	#19
pnoon YNWA Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Peter Location: San Diego Posts: 29,919 Trading: (20)	Re: Clacko the Clown gzornblt __________________ Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. -John Wooden