Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-23-2013, 06:37 PM   #1
RevSmoke
Ain't Never Gonna Leave
 
RevSmoke's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Todd
Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin
Posts: 6,835
Trading: (51)
HUpmann
RevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant future
Default Urine -or- you're out.

I have a job.

I work, they pay me.

I pay my taxes & the government Distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem).

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes To people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check Because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT----doing drugs while I work..

Can you imagine how much money each state would save If people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program"URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!



P.S. Just a thought, all politicians should have to pass a urine test too!....
__________________
Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"
RevSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2013, 06:41 PM   #2
Robulous78
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

And I AGREE!!!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2013, 07:11 PM   #3
Steve
Dad Jokester Supreme
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: 17 R 435648 3354895
Posts: 7,715
Trading: (6)
HdM
Steve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud of
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

Todd's on a roll tonight!

__________________
...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2013, 07:37 PM   #4
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

hahahaha i agree 100% Rev

also if you do pass the test and you are physically able to.... at least hit the highway and pick up trash for 5-8 hours a day, volunteer at a library... point is DO SOMETHING
big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 07:14 AM   #5
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

Catchy title!!!
__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 07:20 AM   #6
RevSmoke
Ain't Never Gonna Leave
 
RevSmoke's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Todd
Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin
Posts: 6,835
Trading: (51)
HUpmann
RevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant future
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_jaygee View Post
hahahaha i agree 100% Rev

also if you do pass the test and you are physically able to.... at least hit the highway and pick up trash for 5-8 hours a day, volunteer at a library... point is DO SOMETHING
I do believe that if you do NOT pass the test, you may also volunteer to pick up trash on the highway... we'll even provide an orange jumpsuit for you to keep you visible.
__________________
Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"
RevSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 08:07 AM   #7
shilala
Dear Lord, Thank You.
 
shilala's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Posts: 13,721
Trading: (252)
Cuaba
shilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

I like it, brother.
I gotta admit that it scares me. Reason being, I also have to take drug tests (I don't even drink, for crying out loud) and the tests cost $1200 a crack.
Imagine what those tests will cost when this gets implemented?
Now consider how many people actually do drugs. I don't believe they do drugs any more than the average Joe, and I've heard it was less than the general population, but let's figure it's maybe 10%?
We have to test every one of them.
I'm absolutely certain it'd cost WAY more to drug test everybody than to just buy the drugs.
I say we just give 'em a raise, cut our losses, call it a win, and be thankful out taxes only went up half of what they would have.
__________________
shilala is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 08:54 AM   #8
hazydat620
Still Watching My Back
 
hazydat620's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Chad(choad, schoad)
Location: PDX, the great Northwest
Posts: 241
Trading: (10)
hazydat620 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

I agree with your complaint rev, but I don't think drug testing would fix the problem. I worked in an industry where there were lots of randoms, all the time, but that didn't discouraged me from partaking in the things they were trying to prevent. Passing a drug test when your dirty is pretty easy nowadays, I did it for 10 yrs and could do it again. People will always find a way to get around it or a loop hole,especially the ones taking advantage now. another side would be that someone who has worked for many years, paying into these benefits from working a job that doesn't require drug testing, would not be able to qualify for these bene. cause he now has to take a drug test?that would seem a little less fair. not trying to start a debate here, just giving
__________________
" Buy the ticket, take the ride"- Hunter S. Thompson
hazydat620 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 11:07 AM   #9
shilala
Dear Lord, Thank You.
 
shilala's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Posts: 13,721
Trading: (252)
Cuaba
shilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

I will trade clean pee for cigars.
__________________
shilala is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 12:32 PM   #10
RevSmoke
Ain't Never Gonna Leave
 
RevSmoke's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Todd
Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin
Posts: 6,835
Trading: (51)
HUpmann
RevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant future
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hazydat620 View Post
I agree with your complaint rev, but I don't think drug testing would fix the problem. I worked in an industry where there were lots of randoms, all the time, but that didn't discouraged me from partaking in the things they were trying to prevent. Passing a drug test when your dirty is pretty easy nowadays, I did it for 10 yrs and could do it again. People will always find a way to get around it or a loop hole,especially the ones taking advantage now. another side would be that someone who has worked for many years, paying into these benefits from working a job that doesn't require drug testing, would not be able to qualify for these bene. cause he now has to take a drug test?that would seem a little less fair. not trying to start a debate here, just giving
It is a joke. I didn't even write it. It was an attempt at humor.
__________________
Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"
RevSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 01:19 PM   #11
replicant_argent
Gravy Boat Winnah.
 
replicant_argent's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Pete
Location: my attorney has advised against giving this information to insane people
Posts: 5,326
Trading: (22)
LGC
replicant_argent is a name known to allreplicant_argent is a name known to allreplicant_argent is a name known to allreplicant_argent is a name known to allreplicant_argent is a name known to allreplicant_argent is a name known to all
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RevSmoke View Post
It is a joke. I didn't even write it. It was an attempt at humor.
I thought you couldn't find the right sub-forum and stuck it here.


I think the joke forum might need a sticky of where to find things that people can't mistake for anything but humor.
__________________
www.stogietorch.com
Some days call for a stiff Pomade.
replicant_argent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 01:23 PM   #12
Subvet642
Bilge Rat
 
Subvet642's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
First Name: Darren
Location: Torpedo Room Bilge
Posts: 2,997
Trading: (13)
LFdC Navy (Served With Honor)
Subvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to all
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_jaygee View Post
hahahaha i agree 100% Rev

also if you do pass the test and you are physically able to.... at least hit the highway and pick up trash for 5-8 hours a day, volunteer at a library... point is DO SOMETHING
I would think that the people who get paid to do those jobs might object, they usually do.
__________________
"Man's mind is his basic tool of survival. Life is given to him, survival is not." -John Galt
Subvet642 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 05:14 PM   #13
hazydat620
Still Watching My Back
 
hazydat620's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Chad(choad, schoad)
Location: PDX, the great Northwest
Posts: 241
Trading: (10)
hazydat620 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Urine -or- you're out.

lol, sorry, I hit whats new, and sometimes don't look to see sub forum. I guess I didn't take it that way cause I've met a lot of people with that view of fixing things, and they don't find any humor in it. whoops
__________________
" Buy the ticket, take the ride"- Hunter S. Thompson
hazydat620 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:34 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.