First Condom

Bluetick · 01-17-2013, 10:04 AM

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

Apparently I still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She then beat the **** out of me....

Women have always been hard for me to figure out....

Dave128 · 01-17-2013, 10:07 AM

363 · 01-17-2013, 10:09 AM

Lol!

big_jaygee · 01-17-2013, 10:10 AM

lmao that's a good one!!!

kelmac07 · 01-17-2013, 11:06 AM

CigarNut · 01-17-2013, 11:25 AM

RobR1205 · 01-17-2013, 11:49 AM

That's a good one!

Zane · 01-17-2013, 12:10 PM

Happens to the best of us!

kugie · 01-17-2013, 01:12 PM

massphatness · 01-17-2013, 02:11 PM

classic

The Poet · 01-17-2013, 02:16 PM

I don't get it.

Maybe that's why I need no condoms.

Ogre · 01-17-2013, 02:28 PM

hammondc · 01-17-2013, 02:41 PM

brilliant

zmancbr · 01-17-2013, 03:23 PM

LOL nice...

And yes women are crazy!!

Route 66 · 01-17-2013, 05:23 PM

I saw that punchline coming (no pun intended

) but it was still funny.

ColdCuts · 01-17-2013, 11:20 PM

Hahaha

karmaz00 · 01-21-2013, 09:41 PM

haha nice

big_jaygee · 01-21-2013, 10:04 PM

i read it again and im still

theonlybear4CORT · 01-21-2013, 10:45 PM

Hahahah

01-17-2013, 10:04 AM	#1
Bluetick Still Watching My Back Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: USA Posts: 112 Trading: (0)	First Condom I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for. She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, not really.' So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. Apparently I still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her. She then beat the **** out of me.... Women have always been hard for me to figure out....

01-17-2013, 10:07 AM	#2
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: First Condom __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

01-17-2013, 10:09 AM	#3
363 Infecting Via PM Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Brendon Location: Maryland Posts: 1,773 Trading: (35)	Re: First Condom Lol! __________________ Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns

01-17-2013, 10:10 AM	#4
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: First Condom lmao that's a good one!!!

01-17-2013, 11:06 AM	#5
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: First Condom __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

01-17-2013, 11:25 AM	#6
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: First Condom __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

01-17-2013, 11:49 AM	#7
RobR1205 Starting a new chapter Join Date: Dec 2011 First Name: Rob Location: Texas Posts: 1,158 Trading: (19)	Re: First Condom That's a good one!

01-17-2013, 12:10 PM	#8
Zane Have My Own Room Join Date: Aug 2012 First Name: Zane Location: Noblesville, IN Posts: 1,508 Trading: (23)	Re: First Condom Happens to the best of us! __________________ COO BlindMan's Puff

01-17-2013, 01:12 PM	#9
kugie Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Joe Location: Billerica, Ma. Posts: 1,376 Trading: (3)	Re: First Condom __________________ "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!" Dr. P. Venkman

01-17-2013, 02:11 PM	#10
massphatness Where's my buffaloooo ... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Vin Location: MassHolia Posts: 12,690 Trading: (206)	Re: First Condom classic __________________ *Help Support The Navy SEAL Foundation: HERE*

01-17-2013, 02:16 PM	#11
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: First Condom I don't get it. Maybe that's why I need no condoms. __________________ Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.

01-17-2013, 02:28 PM	#12
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: First Condom __________________

01-17-2013, 02:41 PM	#13
hammondc Moar Padrons! Join Date: Aug 2010 First Name: Chip Location: Senoia, GA Posts: 2,625 Trading: (17)	Re: First Condom brilliant

01-17-2013, 03:23 PM	#14
zmancbr CERTIFIED THREAD KILLER!! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Zach Location: Color Red Posts: 1,692 Trading: (41)	Re: First Condom LOL nice... And yes women are crazy!!

01-17-2013, 05:23 PM	#15
Route 66 This sucker went out! Join Date: Sep 2012 First Name: Steve Location: Way Out West Posts: 41 Trading: (0)	Re: First Condom I saw that punchline coming (no pun intended ) but it was still funny.

01-17-2013, 11:20 PM	#16
ColdCuts Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Aug 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Queens, NY Posts: 375 Trading: (10)	Re: First Condom Hahaha

01-21-2013, 09:41 PM	#17
karmaz00 Habanos Join Date: Dec 2008 First Name: Jason Location: victoria Posts: 1,855 Trading: (1)	Re: First Condom haha nice __________________ Habanos Collector Since 2003

01-21-2013, 10:04 PM	#18
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: First Condom i read it again and im still

01-21-2013, 10:45 PM	#19
theonlybear4CORT RIP Nick Montano Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mike Location: Santa Rosa Posts: 2,040 Trading: (14)	Re: First Condom Hahahah