Chicago Bears Quarterback

Whee · 12-12-2012, 10:02 PM

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn"t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!

"I"ve got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don"t want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"

"I don"t think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I"ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I"m here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

Ogre · 12-12-2012, 10:09 PM

icehog3 · 12-13-2012, 01:00 AM

You a fish-eyed fool, Whee.

Angry_Pirate · 12-13-2012, 02:59 AM

CigarNut · 12-13-2012, 08:21 AM

icehog3 · 12-13-2012, 09:50 AM

yourchoice · 12-13-2012, 10:12 AM

Good one!

icehog3 · 12-13-2012, 10:26 AM

Go into the light.

Whee · 12-13-2012, 11:04 AM

Ruh Roh!

CasaDooley · 12-13-2012, 11:38 AM

12-12-2012, 10:02 PM	#1
Whee formerly illinoishoosier Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Sean Location: Bishopville, SC Posts: 3,591 Trading: (17)	Chicago Bears Quarterback The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn"t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! "I"ve got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don"t want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!" "I don"t think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I"ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I"m here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!! __________________ "Maybe I'm wrong, when they tell me they're right…..naaaaahhhhhh, I'm an asshooooooleeee"--Denis Leary

12-12-2012, 10:09 PM	#2
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback __________________

12-13-2012, 01:00 AM	#3
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,257 Trading: (60)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback You a fish-eyed fool, Whee. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

12-13-2012, 02:59 AM	#4
Angry_Pirate Traveler Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: J.T. Location: Indiana Posts: 903 Trading: (40)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback

12-13-2012, 08:21 AM	#5
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

12-13-2012, 09:50 AM	#6
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,257 Trading: (60)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

12-13-2012, 10:12 AM	#7
yourchoice Down the stretch Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Joel Location: South Jersey Posts: 4,091 Trading: (36)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback Good one!

12-13-2012, 10:26 AM	#8
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,257 Trading: (60)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback Go into the light. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

12-13-2012, 11:04 AM	#9
Whee formerly illinoishoosier Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Sean Location: Bishopville, SC Posts: 3,591 Trading: (17)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback Ruh Roh! __________________ "Maybe I'm wrong, when they tell me they're right…..naaaaahhhhhh, I'm an asshooooooleeee"--Denis Leary

12-13-2012, 11:38 AM	#10
CasaDooley Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day Posts: 2,465 Trading: (41)	Re: Chicago Bears Quarterback __________________ *Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers*