Two Dollar Bill

[BlkDrew]

from,...Jim Peterson.....THIS IS A RIOT!!!

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!
I'm STILL laughing!!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.
The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!

YIKES!!!

Too late, we already have a nation full of them

[Volusianator]

THAT is an outstanding story, thanks for taking the time to share.

I have a regular at my cigar shop who tips me with a $2 bill every Friday night, I may have a hundred of them by now.

[maninblack]

That is a good story! Very funny and sad at the same time.

[smitty81]

this needs to be sent to taco bell HQ!

[HollywoodQue]

Wow. hope he didn't spit in your burrito....lol

[bobarian]

Try paying with SB Anthony dollars.

[G G]

Funny in a way but the level of stupidity people have allowed themselves to sink to never ceases to amaze me.

[Bruzee]

Thanks for the laugh! Great story.

[kelmac07]

Knuckelheadism at its finest right there!!

[Taki]

Me and the wife are dying laughing reading this...thanks for sharing

[chaase321]

This totally just lit up my day! I love it. I have around 50 $2 bills and even though I never spend them I totally want to start now! Good laugh man

[Ogre]

Gotta love the next generation of management in this county.

[joeobx]

Next time go in and order the same thing and hand them a Sacagawea and Susan B Anthony and see what kinda response you get.

[PCR]

Our education system has triumphed again. I can't wait to retire.

[CigarSquid]

I do have a couple.. I will have to bust them out. I had one given to me at work.. I knew what was up.

[proguy747]

[Boz]

This makes want to go to the bank and exchange $100 for 50 $2 bills just to see people's reaction This is too funny (although sad and discouraging at the same time).

[Blak Smyth]

Great story and the last couple of lines is true.

[shilala]

Ignorance can be fixed, but stupid is forever.

[Blak Smyth]

Originally Posted by Blak Smyth

Great story and the last couple of lines is true.

Originally Posted by shilala

Ignorance can be fixed, but stupid is forever.

The last couple of lines are true. There's some fixed ignorance for you.