Dear Americans.

[Islayphile]

Bollocks

[Bageland2000]

This is bullshit, I'm calling my lawyer

[Taki]

Originally Posted by bageland2000

this is bullshit, i'm calling my lawyer

[Noodles]

Originally Posted by Bageland2000

This is bullshit, I'm calling my lawyer

Correction, solicitor.

You are welcome.

[Subvet642]

Originally Posted by Noodles

Correction, solicitor.

You are welcome.

Barristers argue cases in court.

[markem]

Can we just merge with Canada instead? I grew up with Canadian TV being about the only real channel we could receive (Havre, MT, look it up on google maps). Hockey Night in Canada, Monty Python unedited and the complete World At War series. Love the Canadian national anthem, one of the most beautiful to sing. Ranks right there with American the Beautiful.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by markem

Can we just merge with Canada instead? I grew up with Canadian TV being about the only real channel we could receive (Havre, MT, look it up on google maps). Hockey Night in Canada, Monty Python unedited and the complete World At War series. Love the Canadian national anthem, one of the most beautiful to sing. Ranks right there with American the Beautiful.

Sorry, John Candy isn't around to incite an international incident.

[Gophernut]

Originally Posted by markem

Can we just merge with Canada instead? I grew up with Canadian TV being about the only real channel we could receive (Havre, MT, look it up on google maps). Hockey Night in Canada, Monty Python unedited and the complete World At War series. Love the Canadian national anthem, one of the most beautiful to sing. Ranks right there with American the Beautiful.

Listening to the Wild/Habs game last night, the singer sang it in a french/english combo. Absolutely spectacular.

[smitty81]

That would be funny to see them try and invade the USA. Afraid of our military..........psh.
Better be more worried about us gun toting citizens.

Good joke though.

[RevSmoke]

All my responses in red should be taken with the same seriousness I posted them.

Originally Posted by Reaver2145

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

Amen.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

That deserves a triple Hallelujah, and a rousing shouted Amen.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

How about we just don't allow them in public? If you are sue happy, you're not allowed to leave your home.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

And their need to drink straight liquor in copious amounts.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

I wonder how many people complaining at the pumps realize this? Of course, they don't have anywhere near the distances to drive that we have here in the US. Nor do we have the mass transit system in place as an alternate form of transportation - at least not in the majority of the land area in the US (there is no bussing or other mass transit within 50 miles of me)

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

No catsup on fries - yes - the rest of the stuff, "you say po-tae-toe, I say po-tah-to."

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all.... American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

Amen.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

Wily E. Coyote. And if that doesn't satisfy you, go see a therapist. But remember, you will then no longer be able to carry a firearm.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

Go for it. We're still packin' here. Even if our current regime apologizes, the people will rise up against this one.

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

Bunch of pansies. I'll have my tea when I want to drink it, and I'll have it in a container fit for a outdoorsman, not seated on a cushion with a powdered wig on my hear.

God Save the Queen!
And may He bless all rulers and governments with wisdom to do what is right for all people.
Well thats the kraken released for the day.

[Boz]

Originally Posted by RevSmoke

All my responses in red should be taken with the same seriousness I posted them.

Good post Agreed on all counts

[Islayphile]

Double Bollocks

[shilala]

LOL.

[Islayphile]

[mase]

Originally Posted by Islayphile

and I second the motion.

Does this mean we can finally import CC's again?

Originally Posted by tengel78

Does this mean we can finally import CC's again?

Yes i dose.

Originally Posted by Reaver2145

Yes i dose.

I'm in!

Originally Posted by Reaver2145

Yes i dose.

Is that English?