Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-13-2013, 09:06 AM   #1
Blueface
Gramps 4x's
 
Blueface's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny
Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana
Posts: 8,774
Trading: (8)
Bolivar
Blueface has disabled reputation
Default Coffee and Testicles

A guy goes into the Post Office to apply for a job.....

The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”

He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”

“Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”

The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”

The interviewer grimaces and then says, “Disabled in your country’s service! Well that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at the regulations, you have enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.”

The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don’t you want me here until 10:00 am?”

“This is a government job”, the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls... No point in you coming in for that.”
__________________
Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian
Blueface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 09:11 AM   #2
BHalbrooks
Have My Own Room
 
BHalbrooks's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
First Name: B
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,122
Trading: (5)
SP CoastGuard (Active)
BHalbrooks has a spectacular aura aboutBHalbrooks has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

BHalbrooks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 09:11 AM   #3
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

I resemble that joke.
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 09:12 AM   #4
equetefue
Liga Privada Hoarder
 
equetefue's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
First Name: Edwin
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,348
Trading: (17)
Partagas AirForce (Disabled Vet)
equetefue has a spectacular aura aboutequetefue has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

hahaha that was great !
equetefue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 09:15 AM   #5
Blak Smyth
Think Blue!
 
Blak Smyth's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
First Name: SD
Location: THE WOOD
Posts: 8,486
Trading: (52)
RA
Blak Smyth has disabled reputation
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

__________________
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS
Blak Smyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 09:43 AM   #6
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 10:12 AM   #7
czerbe
Just a Traveling Man
 
czerbe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
First Name: Corey
Location: Reading Pa
Posts: 1,309
Trading: (2)
Partagas
czerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

oh now that is funny!
__________________
Live fast, hard, everyday like its your last.
czerbe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 11:54 AM   #8
Mr B
Livin' in a Van....
 
Mr B's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North Bay Area, CA
Posts: 3,233
Trading: (79)
PL
Mr B is just really niceMr B is just really niceMr B is just really niceMr B is just really nice
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

__________________
And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” Acts 10:13
Mr B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 12:15 PM   #9
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 12:17 PM   #10
emopunker2004
Central Fla rollin
 
emopunker2004's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
First Name: Justin
Location: Winter Springs, FL
Posts: 6,171
Trading: (46)
HdM
emopunker2004 is a name known to allemopunker2004 is a name known to allemopunker2004 is a name known to allemopunker2004 is a name known to allemopunker2004 is a name known to allemopunker2004 is a name known to all
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

__________________
Cigar Asylum: Where all are equal, unless you are from CA, then you are more equal.
emopunker2004 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 01:08 PM   #11
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2013, 02:12 PM   #12
CigarSquid
AKA Garryyjr
 
CigarSquid's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
First Name: Garry
Location: Medford, OR - Cigar Zombie
Posts: 3,213
Trading: (39)
CigarSquid has a spectacular aura aboutCigarSquid has a spectacular aura aboutCigarSquid has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

Very good. I will share this one.
__________________
gaRRy
CigarSquid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2013, 12:01 PM   #13
CasaDooley
Herf Crew of 2
 
CasaDooley's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Kevin
Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day
Posts: 2,465
Trading: (41)
HUpmann Navy (Disabled Vet)
CasaDooley has a spectacular aura aboutCasaDooley has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

__________________
Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers
CasaDooley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2013, 10:11 PM   #14
Azpostal
Feeling at Home
 
Azpostal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
First Name: Don
Location: Arizona
Posts: 511
Trading: (9)
Army (Served With Honor)
Azpostal is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Coffee and Testicles

Awesome!!!
Azpostal is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:35 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.