Onions and Christmas Trees

kelmac07 · 12-22-2012, 09:27 AM

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of "willies" are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?""Yes. The tree is dead, and the balls are just for decoration."

hazydat620 · 12-22-2012, 10:15 AM

thats a good one Mac

CigarSquid · 12-22-2012, 11:05 AM

That's funny. Thanks for it, I'm going to share it on Facebook.

Ogre · 12-23-2012, 04:59 PM

big_jaygee · 12-23-2012, 05:07 PM

lmao i dont know how i missed this yesterday

12-22-2012, 09:27 AM	#1
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Onions and Christmas Trees A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?""Yes. The tree is dead, and the balls are just for decoration." __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

12-22-2012, 10:15 AM	#2
hazydat620 Still Watching My Back Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Chad(choad, schoad) Location: PDX, the great Northwest Posts: 241 Trading: (10)	Re: Onions and Christmas Trees thats a good one Mac __________________ " Buy the ticket, take the ride"- Hunter S. Thompson

12-22-2012, 11:05 AM	#3
CigarSquid AKA Garryyjr Join Date: Apr 2011 First Name: Garry Location: Medford, OR - Cigar Zombie Posts: 3,213 Trading: (39)	Re: Onions and Christmas Trees That's funny. Thanks for it, I'm going to share it on Facebook. __________________ gaRRy

12-23-2012, 04:59 PM	#4
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Onions and Christmas Trees __________________

12-23-2012, 05:07 PM	#5
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: Onions and Christmas Trees lmao i dont know how i missed this yesterday

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