think twice

SNKBYT · 10-09-2010, 03:57 PM

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good man to you for 27 years and I have nothing to show
for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your Ex-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Her letter:

Dear Ex -Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
you and I have been married for 27 years, although a good man is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much to try to drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I
didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped
eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought
us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the
fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife,
Rich Beyond Your Wildest Dreams & FREE!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

x man · 10-09-2010, 04:07 PM

sic

kelmac07 · 10-09-2010, 04:57 PM

Starscream · 10-09-2010, 05:02 PM

That's horrible!

Dave128 · 10-09-2010, 11:21 PM

Very wrong...

Gargoyle · 10-10-2010, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave128

Very wrong...

Agreed... so very wrong

Skywalker · 10-12-2010, 04:07 PM

That would be a sucky day... for him!!!

10-12-2010, 04:13 PM

Thats horrible lol

CasaDooley · 10-12-2010, 07:41 PM

Ouch!

10-09-2010, 03:57 PM	#1
SNKBYT PATRIOT and VETERAN Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Alex Location: SWEET HOME ALABAMA Posts: 3,289 Trading: (30)	think twice Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 27 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your Ex-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Her letter: Dear Ex -Husband, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 27 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much to try to drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich Beyond Your Wildest Dreams & FREE! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. __________________ "IF YOU WANT TO TAKE MY FREEDOM, MAKE DAMN SURE THAT YOU'RE AS PASSSIONATE ABOUT TAKING IT AS I AM ABOUT KEEPING IT"

10-09-2010, 04:07 PM	#2
x man Opus lover since 1995 Join Date: Nov 2009 First Name: X Location: usa Posts: 866 Trading: (24)	Re: think twice sic

10-09-2010, 04:57 PM	#3
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: think twice __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

10-09-2010, 05:02 PM	#4
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: think twice That's horrible! __________________ Insert quote here.

10-09-2010, 11:21 PM	#5
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: think twice Very wrong... __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

10-12-2010, 04:07 PM	#7
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: think twice That would be a sucky day... for him!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

10-12-2010, 04:13 PM	#8
Nefari0us Guest Posts: n/a	Re: think twice Thats horrible lol

10-12-2010, 07:41 PM	#9
CasaDooley Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day Posts: 2,465 Trading: (41)	Re: think twice Ouch! __________________ *Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers*

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