Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Register FAQ Inmates List Calendar
Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes
Reload this Page Dear Americans.
Today's Posts Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
Page 3 of 4 < 12 3 4 >
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-02-2012, 02:36 PM   #41
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Sitting with the Queen drinking tea,
She asked "Do you fart when you pee?",
I thought for a bit,
And asked "Do you belch when you sh!t?",
And thought that was quite clever of me.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Tır and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 02:39 PM   #42
MajorCaptSilly
Sklee
 
MajorCaptSilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Location: Mishawaka, IN
Posts: 2,523
Trading: (30)
Bolivar
MajorCaptSilly has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dear Americans.
I'm deeply offended by every post in this thread.


Punitive damages,

MCS
__________________
Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?
MajorCaptSilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 02:40 PM   #43
Subvet642
Bilge Rat
 
Subvet642's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
First Name: Darren
Location: Torpedo Room Bilge
Posts: 2,997
Trading: (13)
LFdC Navy (Served With Honor)
Subvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to all
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
Correction, solicitor.

You are welcome.
Barristers argue cases in court.
__________________
"Man's mind is his basic tool of survival. Life is given to him, survival is not." -John Galt
Subvet642 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 03:09 PM   #44
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,625
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Can we just merge with Canada instead? I grew up with Canadian TV being about the only real channel we could receive (Havre, MT, look it up on google maps). Hockey Night in Canada, Monty Python unedited and the complete World At War series. Love the Canadian national anthem, one of the most beautiful to sing. Ranks right there with American the Beautiful.
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 03:29 PM   #45
Stephen
Sultan of Cigars
 
Stephen's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
First Name: Stephen
Location: Where the Pony Express began and Jesse James ended.
Posts: 1,582
Trading: (18)
Stephen has a spectacular aura aboutStephen has a spectacular aura aboutStephen has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by markem View Post
Can we just merge with Canada instead? I grew up with Canadian TV being about the only real channel we could receive (Havre, MT, look it up on google maps). Hockey Night in Canada, Monty Python unedited and the complete World At War series. Love the Canadian national anthem, one of the most beautiful to sing. Ranks right there with American the Beautiful.
Sorry, John Candy isn't around to incite an international incident.
Stephen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 04:09 PM   #46
Gophernut
Have My Own Room
 
Gophernut's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: Hudson, WI
Posts: 1,661
Trading: (15)
Diplomatico
Gophernut will become famous soon enoughGophernut will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by markem View Post
Can we just merge with Canada instead? I grew up with Canadian TV being about the only real channel we could receive (Havre, MT, look it up on google maps). Hockey Night in Canada, Monty Python unedited and the complete World At War series. Love the Canadian national anthem, one of the most beautiful to sing. Ranks right there with American the Beautiful.
Listening to the Wild/Habs game last night, the singer sang it in a french/english combo. Absolutely spectacular.
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." Thomas Jefferson
Gophernut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 04:58 PM   #47
Reaver2145
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoWhiteSox View Post
Is that English?
No that is a £5 keyboard from argos.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 05:06 PM   #48
Reaver2145
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
To the citizens of Great Britain including Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

Dear Sir/Madam,

That whole World War II thing. You're welcome.



Sincerely,

Uncle Sam



PS: Go get your shinebox.
pffft didnt need your help you just decided to join us we had Jack Churchill with him we could of taken over the world with his claymore alone.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2012, 05:28 PM   #49
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaver2145 View Post
pffft didnt need your help you just decided to join us we had Jack Churchill with him we could of taken over the world with his claymore alone.
I heard about him trying to band up with Paul Bunyon and his ox.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Tır and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 10:06 AM   #50
Silound
ex-CS Swamp Gorilla
 
Silound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Somewhere in a swamp, south of sanity
Posts: 802
Trading: (15)
Bolivar
Silound will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Bah, tea is garbage. Coffee, hot and black like the pits of hell, now that's a civilized beverage for the afternoon. Come to think of it, I'll trade you some coffee for some good beer.
__________________
Back in black, and better than ever! You can't keep a good gorilla down!
LSU Geaux Tigers!
Silound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 12:56 PM   #51
Stephen
Sultan of Cigars
 
Stephen's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
First Name: Stephen
Location: Where the Pony Express began and Jesse James ended.
Posts: 1,582
Trading: (18)
Stephen has a spectacular aura aboutStephen has a spectacular aura aboutStephen has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Dear Americans.
The U.S. of A got the Beatles, Stones, Zeppelin, and Great Britain got Madonna. Score one more for the good guys.
Stephen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 01:26 PM   #52
Reaver2145
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Errr wut last time i checked the beetles/stones/zeppelin where all English.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 01:42 PM   #53
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaver2145 View Post
Errr wut last time i checked the beetles/stones/zeppelin where all English.
I don't like bettles, they eat cigars.

The Beatles are great, though.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Tır and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 01:44 PM   #54
ChicagoWhiteSox
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
I don't like bettles, they eat cigars.

The Beatles are great, though.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 01:45 PM   #55
ChicagoWhiteSox
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaver2145 View Post
No that is a £5 keyboard from argos.
So your keyboard is missing punctuation marks and keys?
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 03:11 PM   #56
Reaver2145
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoWhiteSox View Post
So your keyboard is missing punctuation marks and keys?
No they just dont work on a regular basis.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 03:45 PM   #57
chippewastud79
Fatter than you!
 
chippewastud79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Larry
Location: A little place called home.
Posts: 5,397
Trading: (44)
Partagas
chippewastud79 is a splendid one to beholdchippewastud79 is a splendid one to beholdchippewastud79 is a splendid one to beholdchippewastud79 is a splendid one to beholdchippewastud79 is a splendid one to beholdchippewastud79 is a splendid one to beholdchippewastud79 is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaver2145 View Post
No they just dont work on a regular basis.
I think you have to push the punctuation keys for them to work.
__________________
If we weren't supposed to eat animals, then how come they're made of meat?
You can never have too many cigars, they are like an investment in good times.
chippewastud79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 03:58 PM   #58
ChicagoWhiteSox
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chippewastud79 View Post
I think you have to push the punctuation keys for them to work.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 04:02 PM   #59
mase
Undead Recruiter
 
mase's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
First Name: Kevin
Location: The city that works....against you
Posts: 845
Trading: (9)
Cohiba
mase will become famous soon enoughmase will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaver2145 View Post
Errr wut last time i checked the beetles/stones/zeppelin where all English.
But they all chose to stay in the States.
__________________
mase is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2012, 04:43 PM   #60
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dear Americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mase View Post
But they all chose to stay in the States.
Wouldn't you??
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Tır and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 3 of 4 < 12 3 4 >

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:18 PM.

Contact Us - Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum - Archive - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.