Swedish/English translation help?

[T.G]

Originally Posted by kzm007

I poorchesed a bloo rey ooff Illee Pege's "Un Emereecun Creeme-a" frum Svedee oonleene-a, seence-a it's unefeeeleble-a es sooch in zee US, und vheele-a I cun pley it joost feene-a, I feend zee nun-remufeble-a nun-Ingleesh soobteetles irreeteting; I ves essoomeeng seence-a it hed un Ingleesh oodeeu treck, und is un Emereecun feelm, it vuoold hefe-a Ingleesh soobteetles es vell, oor thet zeey vuoold et zee leest be-a remufeble-a - ell zee menoos ere-a in Ingleesh.

Zee retoorn lebel seys "Orsek" und zeen geefes three-a check-buxes fur reesuns; "Ungerett," "Deffekt Fera," und "Unnun Oorsek." Vhet du zeese-a trunslete-a tu ixectly? I em essoomeeng 'deffecteefe-a item' und 'uzeer reesun' fur zee lest tvu?

Lestly, hoo du I sey "Zee bloo rey vurks perffectly in my pleyer, boot is unooseble-a fur my speceeffic needs. Um gesh dee bork, bork!" in Svedeesh? fur zee cumments secshun ooff zee sleep?

Thunk yuoo - Kegun

Su, vhet seems tu be-a zee prublem here-a?

Ohh, zee DFD. Umm, hurdy frurdy, der schnipp, schnipp.

I gut nutheeng. Bork, bork, bork!

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<Thees spece-a intenshunelly lefft blunk.>