Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-29-2010, 03:31 AM   #1
Tashaz
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Bears In The Woods.

OK, Razz would have seen this elsewhere but bear with me LOL.

A guys out hunting in the woods and spots a black bear. He lines up his rifle, lets rip and kills it stone dead. Next thing there is a tap on his shoulder. On turning around he is confronted by a big brown bear, who looks incensed because that was his mate that got shot, gives the hunter two choices. Be eaten or have sex with the bear. Needless to say the sex was not pleasant and it took the hunter a few days to recover.

Having had his pride and body damaged the hunter wanted revenge. So in a few days he went off in search of the brown bear. After searching aimlessly he stumbles upon a clearing and lo and behold, there is the brown bear sleeping. Of course the hunter takes the advantage, shoots the bear & cuts it's throat for good measure. Quite pleased with himself he gets a tap on the should by a huge grizzly, the distant cousin of the brown bear, and gets the same two options as before. This time it takes him weeks to recover both physically and mentally but the whole time he has sworn to get that grizzly.

After about a month of unsuccessful therapy he is out in the woods again. It takes him three days to find that friggin grizzly, four shots to kill it, two knives to cut it's throat and a carving knife to dismember it. This, he says to himself, is the end of that crap.

Next minute he gets a tap on the shoulder from behind, turns and sees the biggest polar bear he's ever heard of who utters the question, "Your dont come here for the hunting do you?"
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2010, 02:27 PM   #2
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

>>
__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2010, 02:29 PM   #3
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,723
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

Smart bear.
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2010, 09:48 PM   #4
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

Ouch!
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2010, 11:38 PM   #5
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

Ruh Roh!!
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2010, 12:09 AM   #6
mariogolbee
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

I've always loved this joke! It's a classic.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:06 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.