Giving up Wine

Taboo Cigars · 12-09-2009, 01:47 PM

Giving Up Wine

Wine Bottle Cork Set
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

I just know you're laughing!

12-09-2009, 01:51 PM

nice. can we spin this so it is a man getting his point across.

Skywalker · 12-09-2009, 01:51 PM

Good one!!!

12-09-2009, 01:56 PM

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man told me.
"Will you use it to go to a strip club instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time looking at things that won’t keep me warm or fed." the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this betting on a football game, instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't watched football in 20 years!"

"Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my wife and I tonight."

The homeless man was shocked. "Won't she be pissed off with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what happens to a man after he has given up drinking, going to strip clubs, and watching football."

GKitty · 12-09-2009, 02:41 PM

touche`, sir!!!

both are hilarious!!

Starscream · 12-09-2009, 07:00 PM

CBI_2 · 12-09-2009, 09:44 PM

Good stuff.

MedicCook · 12-09-2009, 09:46 PM

12-09-2009, 09:46 PM

Nice

G G · 12-09-2009, 11:39 PM

Woot woot.

12-09-2009, 01:47 PM	#1
Taboo Cigars www.TabooCigars.com Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: TX Posts: 314 Trading: (9)	Giving up Wine Giving Up Wine Wine Bottle Cork Set I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked. "No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight." The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting." I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine." I just know you're laughing! __________________ Quality Cigars / Low Prices http://www.TabooCigars.com Mon-Thur 10am-10pm, Fri-Sat 11am-11pm, Sun Noon-6pm CENTRAL TIME. 817-427-1777 or Toll Free from USA 877-2cigar2

12-09-2009, 01:51 PM	#2
Lensjockie Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Giving up Wine nice. can we spin this so it is a man getting his point across.

12-09-2009, 01:51 PM	#3
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Giving up Wine Good one!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

12-09-2009, 01:56 PM	#4
Lensjockie Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Giving up Wine I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man told me. "Will you use it to go to a strip club instead of buying food?" I asked. "No, I don't waste time looking at things that won’t keep me warm or fed." the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this betting on a football game, instead of food?" I asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't watched football in 20 years!" "Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my wife and I tonight." The homeless man was shocked. "Won't she be pissed off with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I smell pretty disgusting." I said, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what happens to a man after he has given up drinking, going to strip clubs, and watching football."

12-09-2009, 02:41 PM	#5
GKitty JAFO Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Crystal Location: Olathe, KS Posts: 1,938 Trading: (8)	Re: Giving up Wine touche`, sir!!! both are hilarious!! __________________ A lost SOTL wandering the weird landscape of domesticity.

12-09-2009, 07:00 PM	#6
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Giving up Wine __________________ Insert quote here.

12-09-2009, 09:44 PM	#7
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Re: Giving up Wine Good stuff. __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

12-09-2009, 09:46 PM	#8
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: Giving up Wine __________________ 27 World Series Championship's "If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff

12-09-2009, 09:46 PM	#9
ChicagoWhiteSox Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Giving up Wine Nice

12-09-2009, 11:39 PM	#10
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: Giving up Wine Woot woot.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode