I feel like a a$$...my son and baseball.

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

I pushed my son too hard as a young one. It took a long time to heal the wounds. Now, as a 15-year-old he's found that basketball is his passion and needs no pushing. He still has issues playing hard for coaches and teams he doesn't like and I know exactly where he gets it from! I do believe they need a push sometimes and sometimes you just have to let them find their own way. It's a very deilcate balance that I think parents have to learn as they go. There's no manual for it.

MCS

Meanie

[Scottw]

Originally Posted by e-man67

Yeah...I keep telling him I love him...still feel like a jerk. He is such a good kid...very polite...probably too polite. Example, played soccer since he was 4 and no hustle...wouldn't take the ball away from anyone/wouldn't go after it...basketball was the same type deal...baseball he is getting better at hitting and catching but won't go after the ball....signed him up for football in the fall as I figured he just needs a little fire in him. I am there for every practice/game encouraging...not expecting greatness just effort. I hope I didn't make a mistake signing him up for football.

I would ask him if this is really what he wants, If he doesn't or didn't want to play, you should not sign him up. We had an instance in our family where my uncle who was ultra successful in everything he did, sports, business, etc. He tried to push these same things on my cousin and while their details are no ones business, I will tell you that it has ended in disaster. Let your kid be a kid and do what he wishes. It seems that he has developed a lot of great qualities so far that will help him much more in life than sacking the quarterback or making a diving catch.

[Lucky_Hippo]

My daughter is 6 and we tried the soccer thing last year. She loves being outside and really got into the gear, but once on the field it was pretty much over. She's also a bit "too" polite, and didn't want anything to do with being aggressive. We tried to push her a little (myself more than the wife of course), but in the end soccer just wasn't her thing. Kids have a lot more opportunities and endeavors thrown their way then we did. I have to remind myself of that, and remember to let her forge her own path instead of just following mine.



I hope your boy feels better soon!

[e-man67]

Originally Posted by Scottw

I would ask him if this is really what he wants, If he doesn't or didn't want to play, you should not sign him up. We had an instance in our family where my uncle who was ultra successful in everything he did, sports, business, etc. He tried to push these same things on my cousin and while their details are no ones business, I will tell you that it has ended in disaster. Let your kid be a kid and do what he wishes. It seems that he has developed a lot of great qualities so far that will help him much more in life than sacking the quarterback or making a diving catch.

Maybe I will revisit the football thing...but how do you know they won't like it if they don't try it?

[e-man67]

Originally Posted by Lucky_Hippo

My daughter is 6 and we tried the soccer thing last year. She loves being outside and really got into the gear, but once on the field it was pretty much over. She's also a bit "too" polite, and didn't want anything to do with being aggressive. We tried to push her a little (myself more than the wife of course), but in the end soccer just wasn't her thing. Kids have a lot more opportunities and endeavors thrown their way then we did. I have to remind myself of that, and remember to let her forge her own path instead of just following mine.



I hope your boy feels better soon!

Soccer was brutal! I don't make him do that anymore. He is feeling much better today! Thanks!

Other than apologizing, I would just give him a bit of space. Being a kid is basically finding out what you like. I remember when I was younger, and all I really was into was basketball, tennis, and computers. My Dad still pushed me into little league, despite me not being able to hit or throw lol.

Still hate thinking of those days, as it was a chore just going out there to have him disappointed in how I played. Blah. Anyway, just try to get to know what his interests are, and if at this point it is too early, just try to do things with him (hockey, basketball, tennis, tap/ballet hehe, etc).

He might be bitter about being sick and you pushing him, but apologizing goes a long way, and you have already done that. Sounds like you are on the right track on all fronts, so kudos.

[e-man67]

Originally Posted by sodomanaz

Other than apologizing, I would just give him a bit of space. Being a kid is basically finding out what you like. I remember when I was younger, and all I really was into was basketball, tennis, and computers. My Dad still pushed me into little league, despite me not being able to hit or throw lol.

Still hate thinking of those days, as it was a chore just going out there to have him disappointed in how I played. Blah. Anyway, just try to get to know what his interests are, and if at this point it is too early, just try to do things with him (hockey, basketball, tennis, tap/ballet hehe, etc).

He might be bitter about being sick and you pushing him, but apologizing goes a long way, and you have already done that. Sounds like you are on the right track on all fronts, so kudos.

Ok, I was on board until you said tap/ballet!

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by e-man67

Maybe I will revisit the football thing...but how do you know they won't like it if they don't try it?

f he is resistant to the idea and says he doesn't want to play, than he probably won't like it.

[jjirons69]

Great info here. Been going through the same thing with T ball. I feel like I could have started this thread.

[PeteSB75]

Originally Posted by e-man67

Ok, I was on board until you said tap/ballet!

What if what he wants is to dance. What if he tries it and loves it. If you try to reject it because you don't like the activity, you will only push him away. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who was entirely on the music/artistic side of things as a kid/young adult and wish my parents had at least tried some activities on the athletic side with me.

[MajorCaptSilly]

Originally Posted by ahc4353

Meanie

Bomb catcher.

MCS

[ashtonlady]

As a mother, what I have learned from raising my kids. The best thing you can do is talk to them. My favorite talk time is in the car on the way to somewhere when no one is there. I seem to get better answers and it is harder to be ignored when you control the radio.

Originally Posted by ashtonlady

As a mother, what I have learned from raising my kids. The best thing you can do is talk to them. My favorite talk time is in the car on the way to somewhere when no one is there. I seem to get better answers and it is harder to be ignored when you control the radio.

As a parent of multiple children I loved car rides. The kids when they were younger (up to about the teens) often talked to one another like we weren't even there. It was almost like they figured we were driving so we cant be listening.

I found out so much about my kids by just being quiet on long car rides and listening.

Chas

[RGD.]

Just to toss in my 2 cents - I'm a firm believer in letting kids decide what they want to do without pushing into what I (or any parent) want them to do.

So what if he doesn't like those sports - there are a ton of other things to explore. What kind of TV shows and video games does he like? Might be a clue. If he likes video games where he gets to kick some butt - maybe some form of martial arts is in line. He won't be in direct competition to start and can move along at his pace. Racing videos - build a go-kart together - he could be the next Richard Petty.

Get him a decent camera - great excuse to go hiking and camping for photo shots. And don't laugh at dancing, gymnastics, swimming, etc - it all keeps him active. I have two small nieces that love to go rock climbing - builds strength, physically and mentally. Paintball! Now there is a workout! You know - just look for those non-traditional (big 3 sports) things to do - you just never know.

And how about bowling? Go to any bowling center and they will have sign up sheets for various leagues: kids only and parent/kids leagues. That was the key to my daughters and I. My oldest has kept at it and last year at the Virginia State Women's tourney placed a first, two seconds and a fourth.

There is something out there . . .

As for the sick not sick thing - hey - your t-shirt is in the mail. As parents we have all been there and done that.

Good luck -


Ron

[WildBlueSooner]

Originally Posted by RGD.

Just to toss in my 2 cents - I'm a firm believer in letting kids decide what they want to do without pushing into what I (or any parent) want them to do.

So what if he doesn't like those sports - there are a ton of other things to explore. What kind of TV shows and video games does he like? Might be a clue. If he likes video games where he gets to kick some butt - maybe some form of martial arts is in line. He won't be in direct competition to start and can move along at his pace. Racing videos - build a go-kart together - he could be the next Richard Petty.

Get him a decent camera - great excuse to go hiking and camping for photo shots. And don't laugh at dancing, gymnastics, swimming, etc - it all keeps him active. I have two small nieces that love to go rock climbing - builds strength, physically and mentally. Paintball! Now there is a workout! You know - just look for those non-traditional (big 3 sports) things to do - you just never know.

And how about bowling? Go to any bowling center and they will have sign up sheets for various leagues: kids only and parent/kids leagues. That was the key to my daughters and I. My oldest has kept at it and last year at the Virginia State Women's tourney placed a first, two seconds and a fourth.

There is something out there . . .

As for the sick not sick thing - hey - your t-shirt is in the mail. As parents we have all been there and done that.

Good luck -


Ron

Great post Ron. I like the suggestions you included of things to do! I will keep this in mind when I have a kid (poor thing)

[kelmac07]

As long as you show your love and keep his best interests at heart...you'll be fine dad!!!

Originally Posted by catfish2

Maybe baseball just isn't his bag. Have you tried talking with him? Maybe he likes basketball or soccer. If he likes video games make a deal with him, He gets x amount of video game time, but he has to do x amount of outdoor physical activity. Try to participate with him. That way he gets time with you and you get to monitor him. Just my .