Gorrilla Finger (WARNING)

[TanithT]

I smelled those things. Really, I am sure that they take all the care in the world when they are making these. They feed their herd of pedigreed cats only the best quality fermented fish livers before getting them to fill up the humidor boxes with their special output. These cats are flea dipped in perfume and rubbed carefully with Vicks VapoRub every day between the pale thighs of the virgin maidens who roll these particular cigars. So you can see how much care they must put into the production.

There is only one place they obviously cut corners on the cost, and that's on their aging and storage. You would think that they would at least purchase brand new urinal cakes to properly age these cigars, but I think that their supplier was double dipping and renting out their tobacco aging sheds for public use as port-a-potties.

That's the luscious bouquet I smelled on those things, anyhow. I could be wrong, but who knows, I may have just figured out their secret.