Some great dirty jokes!

[WildBlueSooner]

Got a few more for you!

1)They finally released the ingredients in Viagra! 3% Vitamin E, 2% Aspirin, 2% Ibuprofen, 1% Vitamin C, 5% Spray Starch, 87% Fix-A-Flat.

2)A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare."

3)Bill and Marla decided the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are making love." Mom and Dad bolted upright in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony, too," his son replied.

[ca21455]

A man came up to his friend and told him about a great new invention, a drive up medical office. You drive up, insert your sample and in a few seconds a diagnosis appears. He had gone there last week, inserted a sample of his rash and out out came a prescription. The medicine worked great and in a few days his rash was gone.

Thinking this is just dumb, the man ignored his friends comments but a few days later a fellow worker came by and told him how he was feeling terrible and went to the drive up medical office. He inserted a urine sample and a few seconds later received a prescription and after a few days felt great.

Well thinking this whole thing was just a scam the man decided to fool the doc in a box. He collected a urine sample from his daughter, a stool sample from his dog and just for good measure whacked off in a jar, mixed the whole thing together and inserted into the machine.

A few seconds later a message came out which read:

Your daughter is pregnat, your dog has worms, and if you do not quit jerking off your tennis elbow will never heal.

[WildBlueSooner]

Originally Posted by ca21455

A man came up to his friend and told him about a great new invention, a drive up medical office. You drive up, insert your sample and in a few seconds a diagnosis appears. He had gone there last week, inserted a sample of his rash and out out came a prescription. The medicine worked great and in a few days his rash was gone.

Thinking this is just dumb, the man ignored his friends comments but a few days later a fellow worker came by and told him how he was feeling terrible and went to the drive up medical office. He inserted a urine sample and a few seconds later received a prescription and after a few days felt great.

Well thinking this whole thing was just a scam the man decided to fool the doc in a box. He collected a urine sample from his daughter, a stool sample from his dog and just for good measure whacked off in a jar, mixed the whole thing together and inserted into the machine.

A few seconds later a message came out which read:

Your daughter is pregnat, your dog has worms, and if you do not quit jerking off your tennis elbow will never heal.

nice! Thanks for contributing....come on guys and gals, I know you know some good dirty jokes!