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Old 04-02-2009, 08:18 PM   #1
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Default It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

So there I was, sitting in the corner, smoking a Cohiba Diplomatic lancero that I received as a gift from my friend who had just vacated his chair to talk to a man about a horse, when I spied Klugs entering the joint with his friend ....
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:27 PM   #2
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

and while I had no idea Klugsie was buddies with Carrot Top, I figured, "What the hell, you aren't supposed to judge a book by it's cover," so I gave Carrot Tops companion a bye for the night.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:27 PM   #3
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

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So there I was, sitting in the corner, smoking a Cohiba Diplomatic lancero that I received as a gift from my friend who had just vacated his chair to talk to a man about a horse, when I spied Klugs entering the joint with his friend ....
... an albino... with a noticeable limp. They scanned the bar, searching for a friendly face. Klugs' gaze moves to my corner. As his eyes adjusted to the relative darkness, I realized the albino was in fact - Carrot Top!
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:00 PM   #4
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

Ready to write Carrot Top off as a poseur trying to swim in Klugs' wake, he opens up a Haliburton cigar box, only to reveal that it is filled pack full of....
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:06 PM   #5
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

Gurkhas. Gurkhas and Acids.

I knew then that he had me. Anyone who could stomach those flavors could easily withstand what I was having for dinner...
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:14 PM   #6
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

Jack Daniels on me cheerios when in between a mouth full a cheerios and Jack and a puff of Gurkha nastyness a noise that awakened me from my pathetic trance to a sight worst than...
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:34 AM   #7
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

....Rosie O'Donnell's colon X-ray. Which showed, besides the aftermath of several visits a day to Taco Bell, a strange substance which could only be described as....
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:40 AM   #8
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

a gift from the colonel, you guessed it a bucket of chicken but that's only hiding the love child of her undying affection for a brother we all know as
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:46 AM   #9
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

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a gift from the colonel, you guessed it a bucket of chicken but that's only hiding the love child of her undying affection for a brother we all know as
Tecnorobo. Little did He know she was attracted to males again. Since he wanted to get out of this story as quickly as possible, he tried redirecting her attention by quickly pointing her to carrot top and klugs. Upon seeing them she screamed...
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:50 AM   #10
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

"Is that you, kwagga?" Klugs replied . . .
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:53 AM   #11
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

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"Is that you, kwagga?" Klugs replied . . .
"No, it's me, Anon-y-mouse!" He quickly removed his klugs costume and revealed his true rodent self. He then turned to Rosie only to discover...
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:54 AM   #12
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

....that Rosie had morphed into an alien that resembled Howie Mandel, and he began to chase the rodent around like....
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:55 AM   #13
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

a .. a ..... the stench was overwhelming ....
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:57 AM   #14
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

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....that Rosie had morphed into an alien that resembled Howie Mandel, and he began to chase the rodent around like....
a Shack Herfer scrambling for a 1492. At which point Rosie turns to Klugs and screams . ..
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:58 AM   #15
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

Klugs, You anon-y-mouse You, I have my secrets as well... I'm a poster at cs named...
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Old 04-03-2009, 01:20 AM   #16
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

....Legend, and I am the most interesting man in the World!! Have you ever heard my theory on....
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Old 04-03-2009, 01:25 AM   #17
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

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....Legend, and I am the most interesting man in the World!! Have you ever heard my theory on....
all greatness springing from one origin - me, and of course dispensed only ..
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Old 04-03-2009, 01:27 AM   #18
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

...by local B&Ms....ones specifically owned by...
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Old 04-03-2009, 01:30 AM   #19
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

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all greatness springing from one origin - me, and of course dispensed only ..
At times such as these. At this very moment Tecnorobo wretched in his mouth. You see, he had just pieced together that a howie mandell like alien who disguised itself as rosie o'donnell who disguised herself as a wise male on a cigar forum was madly in love with him. Not only that but it's bowels were full of kfc.

At this very instant anon-y-mouse ran out and stood on top of carrot tops head where he announced "this is all very cute, but if you don't hand over CA's members cigar collections in their entirety to me, I'm going to be forced to show this picture of seangar and tecnorobo iceskating together to seangar's employer"

Seanger immediately stood up from his bar stool (relatively undisturbed up until this point) and said "you wouldn't dare!"

The air was quieted only to...
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Old 04-03-2009, 01:41 AM   #20
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Default Re: It was a dark and stormy night CA Short Story

...others in the thread wondering what the %&*# Blake was talking about. Thankfully, the Most Interesting Man in the World explained that Blake had a disorder commonly known as....
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