Promise Ring, did you buy your daughter one?

We just got my daughter a purity ring for her 16th birthday, by her request. Once in a while they stilll make your proud and suprise you with their good common sense.
Signed,
Proud Dad

[loki]

i've seen both sides of this and if you're leaving this upto a ring you've already failed. please note i'm saying anything directly about the TS here. Talk with her, express your views that she should wait till marriage, wait till she's really in love, whatever your views here are. If she wants the ring get her one, if not then don't.

Just know that even if she shares your views now, she may not in 3+ years. Keep talking to her about it but let her know that when she decides the time is right she should be safe and you hope that she feels comfortable talking to you about it. ring or no ring you need to talk to her. *


*this advice is coming from someone with no kids, who doesn't want kids, and hopes to never have kids. Though I do teach highschool, i'm only 26 and I've had more then a few g/fs and seen several different parenting styles

[Blueface]

Originally Posted by loki

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Just know that even if she shares your views now, she may not in 3+ years. Keep talking to her about it but let her know that when she decides the time is right she should be safe and you hope that she feels comfortable talking to you about it. ring or no ring you need to talk to her. *

You are so on point.
Looking back, I often wonder what I could have done differently.
Monday morning quarterbacking is something that will haunt parents invariably. You always try to make the right decision but can so many times wonder how else you could have handled it and hopefully learn from that.
I don't think girls will open up frankly to dads on this subject. You will likely get lies. I think moms need to take a better approach during those critical years. The problem is that most kids in their teens see their parents as the enemy since you are trying to steer them in your direction and not necessarily in the one they may wish to go to. Most girls see moms as a battle ground. The challenge is to break all that down.

[shilala]

My Rebekah is 12 going on 21. She's made the decision on her own and we've talked about it at length.
I hope it sticks.
I think the ring is a nice idea. Never heard of it. I bet she'd treasure it.

[WildBlueSooner]

I think wearing a ring to signify a decision like that one is a little weird! But other than that I think the most important thing is to talk to them about sex. Do not make it some mystery, or seem dirty and bad. Let them know why sex is important and why it is important to wait. Making sex seem scary does not work! Kind of got off topic there...I apologize, but scaring kids about things sex and drugs is ineffective in my opinion. It is educating and discussing these things that works!

Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner

Making sex seem scary does not work! Kind of got off topic there...I apologize, but scaring kids about things sex and drugs is ineffective in my opinion. It is educating and discussing these things that works!

You are right. Teens naturally gravitate towards risky behaviors as they learn to exercise independence. The riskier you make sex and drugs appear, the more appeal they may have towards teens.

[ashtonlady]

For my daughter, it is a way to tell the guys she is waiting. But the most important part of the ring is to keep talking as loki said. There is a very big diffrence what a 13 you thinks and what a 15 you thinks. I am bless that my daughter talks to me. And I will understand if she doesn't tell me when she desides to loose her virginity. That can be a very personal choice and she will be 21 soon and a full adult.
We can only tell them what we think and why, the rest is up to them.

Laura