Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-23-2017, 05:53 PM   #1
shark
Cigar Smokin' Patriot
 
shark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
First Name: Ron
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,585
Trading: (0)
Bolivar Army (Served With Honor)
shark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of lightshark is a glorious beacon of light
Default New Detroit Lions Quarterback

The Afghan Quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan .. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit !"

__________________
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
shark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2017, 06:02 PM   #2
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: New Detroit Lions Quarterback

__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2017, 06:25 PM   #3
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: New Detroit Lions Quarterback

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-24-2017, 06:02 AM   #4
dijit
Have My Own Room
 
dijit's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
First Name: Mike
Location: Brownsburg, Indiana
Posts: 2,186
Trading: (48)
Montecristo AirForce (Served With Honor)
dijit is just really nicedijit is just really nicedijit is just really nicedijit is just really nice
Default Re: New Detroit Lions Quarterback

Lmao
__________________
Sporting goods raffle for a great cause. PM me for tickets.
dijit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-24-2017, 10:21 AM   #5
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: New Detroit Lions Quarterback

An oldie but a goodie.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.