Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-17-2014, 08:12 AM   #1
n3uka
Feeling at Home
 
n3uka's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: The house on the corner
Posts: 685
Trading: (30)
Cohiba
n3uka has disabled reputation
Default The Queen

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.

The moral of the story...
Pay your bills.
n3uka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2014, 08:32 AM   #2
Subvet642
Bilge Rat
 
Subvet642's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
First Name: Darren
Location: Torpedo Room Bilge
Posts: 2,997
Trading: (13)
LFdC Navy (Served With Honor)
Subvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to allSubvet642 is a name known to all
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
"Man's mind is his basic tool of survival. Life is given to him, survival is not." -John Galt
Subvet642 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2014, 09:08 AM   #3
Porch Dweller
Life is for living
 
Porch Dweller's Avatar
11
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
First Name: James
Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast
Posts: 8,391
Trading: (24)
Bolivar AirForce (Retired)
Porch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone
Porch Dweller is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2014, 09:08 AM   #4
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2014, 10:49 PM   #5
Heavy_d
Feeling at Home
 
Heavy_d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
First Name: Derek
Location: Eastern, KY
Posts: 878
Trading: (1)
Heavy_d will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
"maybe it's like becoming one with the cigar. You lose yourself in it; everything fades away" -Raul Julia
Heavy_d is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2014, 11:20 PM   #6
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:26 PM   #7
Dave128
Sexy Dave
 
Dave128's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Dave
Location: Voorheesville, NY
Posts: 3,922
Trading: (4)
Dave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really nice
Default Re: The Queen

That is just not right.
__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
I "heart" Boobies and Beer!
Dave128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:34 AM   #8
RUNYYFan
Life, Liberty, Happiness
 
RUNYYFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
First Name: Marc
Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA
Posts: 360
Trading: (0)
Partagas
RUNYYFan will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
Marc
Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.
RUNYYFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:44 AM   #9
STEVE S
Have My Own Room
 
STEVE S's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Steve
Location: Coconut Creek, Fl.
Posts: 1,092
Trading: (1)
STEVE S is on a distinguished road
Default Re: The Queen

__________________
Smoking cigars is a hobby and a great way to pass the time of day!
STEVE S is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.