Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-09-2014, 05:31 PM   #1
RUNYYFan
Life, Liberty, Happiness
 
RUNYYFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
First Name: Marc
Location: Splitting time between Dayton, NJ and Needmore, PA
Posts: 360
Trading: (0)
Partagas
RUNYYFan will become famous soon enough
Default Tell It Like It Is

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
__________________
Marc
Fear is the dark room in which negatives are developed. - Anon.
RUNYYFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 07:46 AM   #2
Blueface
Gramps 4x's
 
Blueface's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny
Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana
Posts: 8,774
Trading: (8)
Bolivar
Blueface has disabled reputation
Default Re: Tell It Like It Is

__________________
Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian
Blueface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 07:52 AM   #3
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Tell It Like It Is

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 09:22 AM   #4
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: Tell It Like It Is

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:17 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.