Sometimes DRUNK isn't a bad thing

[sevans105]

Badass Biker Bob wakes up at home with a huge
hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and
the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a
glass of water on the side table.

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all
clean and pressed. Bob looks around the room
and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the
table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early
to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there
is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His
son is also at the table, eating.

Bob asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M.,
drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked
in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when
you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Badass Bob asks, "So, why is everything
in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table
waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants
off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!"

[pnoon]

An oldie but a goodie.

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[Ubiquitous]