Happy Mother's Day

[emopunker2004]

I think our mother said many of these...................





1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it
outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet.

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock
you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your
neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case
you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is
gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million
times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take
you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children
in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they
are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know
when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll
never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you
were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn
out just like you !"

26.
My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

[EricF]

All true!!!

[Ogre]

Vary true!!!

[cmitch]

And my mom taught me not to ask for any of that f#€£ing bacon.

[levrac68]

Justin, where did you find that? I'd like to use some, but want to give credit.

[kelmac07]