Asking for the Father's Blessing?

[hscmit]

I asked, after 6 years of dating they sort of figured it was coming

[Lucky_Hippo]

I asked. My wife and I had been dating over 2 years and I had a pretty good relationship with her father but it still took 4 or 5 trips helping him carry stuff in from the car before I could find the courage to finally ask him.

In my book it's just the right thing to do.

[Skywalker]

The first time around, I asked because my bride wasn't 18 yet. The second time around, I wanted to ask but was denied the opportunity due to timing.

My daughter's fiancé didn't ask me... They're getting married in May! I think it would have been a sign of respect. However, I think things are different now and people lack social decorum.

It is what it is! Ask if you can or if the situation presents itself!

[STEVE S]

I think that it is best to ask, I wish that I had done so at the time (40 years ago), but I still had a good relationship with my in-laws.

[Dave128]

I asked in person about two weeks prior to popping the question. I'm glad I did. My FIL was pleased.

[wayner123]

I asked my Father in Law. I felt it was the right thing to do. It also gave me an opportunity to go over with him my plans for life and the life I would provide for her.

I hope the boy my daughter will choose will do the same.

[landhoney]

I asked my father in law, it was probably almost a full year before I actually got around to asking my wife, but I had asked him. My wife and I had been going out for a while (years), so I knew he approved, but I asked anyway (2005).

[AlohaStyle]

I agree it's the right thing for a guy to do. However, for any father who was not asked by the son-in-law, keep in mind they simply might not have known the tradition and wasn't trying to dodge the question.

I was married 7 years ago and was with my wife for almost 3 years before I proposed and had a great relationship with my future in-laws. However, somehow I never knew about the tradition until 2 weeks before I was going to propose when someone asked me if I asked for a blessing... I lived in Hawaii and my in-laws in Seattle so I got on the phone twice a day trying to get in touch with the father. Finally, the day before I was going to propose, I had to leave a voicemail in the machine saying I really wanted to talk to (the father) and tried calling for the last week or so with no luck. I then proposed and later found out that her dad was gone hunting for over a week and the mother was out of town too. So my father-in-law did not know until after the fact but the parents appreciated that I at least tried calling beforehand. And yes I realize some guys might just be losers and not knowing the tradition might not sit so well...

After I proposed, my wife also asked me how I asked for her father's blessing since we lived so far away... so yes, I think it's the right thing to do but I wouldn't necessarily hold it against the son-in-law if he doesn't know the tradition. If he doesn't ask and you feel he's just spiting you, then he's a punk ass! LOL

[Tio Gato]

I asked my FIL after a round of golf. I was so nervous I didn't get up the courage to ask him until after two beers in the club house. He said "You should probably try living with her first, she can be very selfish."
I'm glad I didn't take his advice, we've been married for 17 years and it's been great.

[Chingas]

Call me old school but I believe in tradition and respect. I think it's out of respect to ask her Father to give her away to you. If I were to ever do it, in person is the only way bit if that's not possible, a phone call is better than nothing. Two Cents for what it's worth. I guess Two Cents IS what it's worth!

[Slow Triathlete]

I've been married twice and have asked their father both times. I grew up in the South and it is one of those things that I think is proper.

Not that their answers would have mattered....I would have done it either way. But it's the asking that counts.