New York Mets 2010 Banter

[Virginia_Ghost]

Oh, the Humanity. Poor, Poor Mac, watching his Mets die slowly...slipping lower and lower in the standings, clutching to the fading hope of a wildcard slot like a damsel in distress clinging to a slowly fraying rope over a dark abyss...

It's not like they could be like Baltimore, or Pittsburgh...Flame out early so their fans don't have to suffer like this... They cling to life, with the scent of a season saving "Miracle Mets" type rally wafting through the tortured souls of their loyal fans. They make you twist and turn in the wind, agonizing every loss, winning just enough to remain "mathematically" viable as long as they can...then...Poof. They finally set their sights on the off season...promising all kinds of changes for the next go-round. As a San Diego Chargers Fan, I so can empathize with him.

Yet with six games to play against the Phillies, three against the Braves, they have hope... a slim one, but hope that carries them through the beginning of August, then in September, yet more Phillies and Braves games in September, more Marlins, more chances to climb...or fail. Poor Mac's Torment is destined to go on for weeks...if not months.

Fortunately not all Mets fans are committed to state run mental institutions...some are here, in this asylum...here, where they can be comforted by their BOTLs in the form of wee little boxes that come in the mail. Isn't that nice?

I beseech you, high and mighty Yankees fans, You band wagon jumping Phillies Phanatics, You West Coast Dodgers Doodz...and yes, even you heartbroken Red Sox fans... Comfort this tortured soul. Comfort him with the one thing that soothes his agonizing heart...Maduro.

His mindless loyalty to the Mets is second only to the devotion he has to his BOTLs, thus it is up to us to attempt to temper the heart wrenching, soul tearing agony he must endure season after season...week after week, inning after painful inning.

I hereby propose a Kelmac Comfort Crusade, where interested parties set aside 1 single stogie per loss...from this date forward...(They're 50-49 as of today.) That's 99 of some 162 regular season games already played, 63 left to go. the masochistic bastards will probably lose Just enough of them to miss the playoffs. At the end of the regular season, Ship your Central American Hand Made Comfort to our BOTL. If they somehow make the playoffs, then...we will allow Mac to decide where they go...if anywhere.

I know, I know, He's already sMACked me for conspiring against him in public. But Brothers of the Leaf, don't consider this a bomb...call it um...Psychotherapy...call it suicide prevention....call it consolation... And as a side benefit, we can all finally have a reason (albeit a small one) to take interest in the Mets.

I know some may look at this as some sort of massive, coordinated retaliation for all the sMACsause he's spread around...No, BOTLs, it's not like that. It's genuine pity...erm...empathy...for a guy who will surely need it.