An appointment with hell

[Blueface]

At least that is what it feels like.
I have a six o'clock appointment for something I have fought against since the first week of August of last year when he was first diagnosed and operated for a massive cancerous mast cell tumor.

I feel good that I think I have done everything humanely within my ability to help him, to include weekly visits at home by a vet. However, one never stops second guessing, specially when trying to figure out when to pull the trigger like this.

He has shut down on me. Has not eaten a drop of food in four days. Very, very little food for the 10 days prior to that. For a five pound dog, it doesn't take very many days without food to kill him and I certainly don't want that horrific death for him.

I have spent the weekend administering under the skin IV fluids to keep him hydrated and medicating in hope of turning him around. It looks like his digestive system has shut down, overcome by the cancer cells that remained in him.

I could have treated him with chemo and radiation but I fought with that idea and my wife was totally against it as she felt it would be inhumane to force that type of treatment on him at his old age of 14 (which he would have been on 4/30).

This is one major crappy day for me to say the least. Won't be easy on my son and wife either. He spent his time idolizing my son and being his best bud. In recent months, I was now his best bud. My dad always had a special attachment to Champ also.

I will miss my friend so badly. Only those of you that have gone through this pain can imagine what it is like. Hard to imagine an animal can be like one's child.

Farewell soon to you my dear faithful friend Champ. God bless you always for the joy you brought to so many lives.