What A Day, but Made a New Friend

[rhmalone]

I have a confession, I one of those guys that absolutely hates to go to the Dr. and unless it's obvious there is something seriously wrong, I'm tough to get to go. For over a week now I've been living with an abscess the size of a silver dollar on the base of my neck (you can thank me later for sparing you the pictures). The pain had finally got to me this morning and I made an appointment to see the Dr. and have this Quasimoto-sized "pain in the neck" drained.

Thankfully I was able to get right in first thing this morning and see the Dr. and the first words out of his mouth were, "I don't think I'm gonna be able to drain this for you, it's not pointed enough."

I pressed the issue and thankfully he found it within himself to try. After collecting enough ooze to get a culture from, he proceeded to inform me that he was going to make a couple of small cuts and drain as much as he could. I thought no big deal, because after all Web MD mentioned the procedure involving the area being numbed first. Apparently, however, my Dr. failed to read that part; he skipped right to cutting and squeezing and causing me HUGE amounts of pain. I darn near broke the table as I had no where to run to get away from the pain, and it felt as though my whole body was on fire.

After what seemed like 10 minutes of squeezing crud and junk from my neck he cleaned me up and told me I was done. "Thank you Lord," I thought to myself. But before calling it quits, Dr. Pain opted to mention to me that there was one other thing he could do for me, and that was to give me some sort of super antibiotic. The catch, I'd have to take two in the rear. As the nurse described the shot she was about to jab into my back side, she said, "It's gonna burn and sting... ALOT!" Then she tells me to drop my drawers and not to clinch, as that will only make the pain worse.

Thankfully though, my neck hurt so bad I didn't much notice the nail gun pounding the shots into my back side. Within seconds of getting the shots I felt as though I'd been mule kicked over and over; it hurt to walk... it hurt to stand.

Thankfully, Dr. Pain wasn't completely without a heart, he introduced me to my new friend. VICODIN.

Yeah, my new friend made everything better, so in the end it's all good

Anyway, thanks for listening about my day. I figured if anyone would understand it would be you all.

Now, let the ass jokes fly...