Everyone please read

After talking it over with the mods early this morning, I've decided to post a public explanation as well as apology to all affected in a situation so I can move forward on this new forum and try my best to enjoy my time here.

I received a private message last night that I will post here, but the sender's name will remain anonymous:

I just saw one of your posts and read your intro to CA. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but your "hiatus" from CS wasn't exactly self-imposed. I'm glad you can get a fresh start on this new board, but please be aware that several people know know why you went on "temporary ban" there. It's upsetting to see you get a clean slate here without ever apologizing for or explaining your non-payment in the contest (last March) on CS.

Let me clarify: After the end of the first quarter of 2008, I was going through a few difficult struggles in both my personal/professional life. I'm not going to elaborate on what those struggles were, because it's noone's business other than to know that it was possibly the toughest time in my life that I've ever endured. It was during this time that I decided to take a "hiatus" from Club Stogie, as it was consuming a large quantity of my time and with the imminent failure of a start up cigar shop, I needed to get away from the "scene" for a while. Where I went wrong was having a "damn-it-all" attitude, and leaving without making sure I had any open obligations to anyone on the forum at the time. I was registered in the CS Lottery and though I had assumed my announcement to leave the board was sufficient in withdrawing from the lottery, I was incorrect...leaving my 5'er owed to the winner (yourchoice) unpaid, but graciously taken care of by pnoon himself. I'll try to make a long story short, but after two months, I tried to log into the site for the first time, only to find that I was banned. (Please note: not one time did I receive a personal email notifying me of being banned or reminding me of failure to pay my obligation....all notices were contained within the site which I had not visited.) I had several emails exchanged back and forth with the site owner, took some things he said personally, said some things I didn't mean since I felt he was insulting me, and to be honest...we both made ourselves look like asses.

I recognize I was at fault in this situation, but I desperately want everyone to know that this was an HONEST mistake as my family's health and my personal financial welfare was at stake during this time and (no offense) in no way was I remotely concerned with an online forum community when it came to family. I should not have left so suddenly without making sure ALL obligations had been met, and yes, that is completely my fault and noone else's. I deeply regret my lax judgement and it's apparent that many of you I used to call friend are still holding a grudge against me for this mistake.

I've contacted all parties involved personally, and have taken the necessary steps to make things right. This is a new forum, NOT Club Stogie, and I will not put up with messages such as the one listed above. I'm publicly humbling myself and asking everyone's forgiveness if your trust in me was damaged by this situation or you feel personally hurt and/or betrayed by it. The thing I'm most hurt by is the fact that several of you had gotten to know me, actually met me at a couple of different herfs, and after months of building a great reputation amongst our friends, had my integrity questioned because of a mistake like this. If the relationship between us has been permanently damaged, I'm truly sorry and I hope you'll eventually forgive me, but I'm moving on. I'm here on a new forum, with a new outlook on life, and I don't need the past thrown in my face every time I turn around. If you can't handle this, I'm washing my hands of the matter right here. However, if several of you all feel the same was as the brother who sent me this message and cannot accept my apology, please be completely honest and say so in response to this. If I feel it will be detrimental to the enjoyment of the forum for any of you if I were to stay here, I'll gladly find another place to congregate with like-minded men/women, though I'd really love to stay.

That's all I've got, so if you have a frustration with me, now's the time...air it out...I'm a big boy and I'm ready to put it behind us, so let's hear it, and hopefully those of you affected can forgive me.

Sincerely,

Jason (Auburnfan1980)