Yerba Mate, My Experience

OK so I've been drinking yerba mate for a little over three years now. I started drinking it about six months after I started smoking cigars and look where that's gotten me! I sell the durned things for a living now.

First, it's a relative of the holly tree err... bush? The plant itself is called Ilex paraguaiensis forgive me if that's not spelled correctly. It's sometimes called Jesuit tea or Paraguay tea. In the wild these trees grow to be about 20 feet but in cultivation they normally grow between 12 and 24 feet. The mate plant is related to the Yaupon holly I think it's called which is used to make the Black Drink, a highly caffeinated ethnobotanical beverage used by native tribes in the southeastern United States.

OK so that's nice and everything but what are its benefits? Welp, you got B vitamins, 1, 3, I think 6, and B complex. There's a bunch of antioxidants. Vitamin A and E as well I'm pretty sure. Inositol, and phytocholines. All kindsa good stuff.

Why is it so envigorating? Well, you may find some sources online saying that there is a special xanthine with a similar isomer? structure to caffeine but it is more easily absorbed and provides smooth muscle movement. This is bullshit. Mateine does not exist no matter how much people want to market it.

What does exist are the aforementioned B vitamins, caffeine, theophylline, and theobromine. Xanthines are stimulants and caffeine, theophylline, and theobromine are all classified as such. This stimulant mix is quite a bit different from the jittery caffeine only rush many people get from coffee or tea.

Now, about theophylline and theobromine. Theophylline is used as a bronchodilator for ashtma patients. I think the brand name is Theodor? As a young boy I was called Matthew the Wild Indian because my allergist prescribed me a dosage of theophylline to keep me breathing. It's very envigorating and is also a nervous system stimulant promoting smooth muscle movement. Theobromine is similar to theophylline in its effects on the body. Recently a study concluded that dark chocolate was more effective as a cough suppressant than codeine cough syrup because of the theophylline content.

OK enough science and polysyllabic words. Let's get to some mythology. I'm not 100% on this so if there are fine points I'm missing or gross errors feel free to let me know!

This is a Quechua story, the main civilization of South America. The language is still spoken in many countries and has influenced the culture. So a woman and her father were banished from their tribe. Her father was crotchety but she loved him so they went into the forest and lived away from all the other people. Well, I think it was because her father was dying that she wanted to go back to the people. On her journey to her people she cried and asked the gods for help. One came down and showed her how to prepare yerba mate. She and her father were envigorated and made it back to their people where they shared the wonder of mate and its ability to stave off hunger, provide energy, and promote well-being.

OK so that's cool and everything. Now, there's processing to mate like there is in cigar tobacco. After the harvest the leaves are 'deactivated' or cured over smoke. Some Brazilian variants aren't smoked and therefore are very green in color and have less effect. Some manufacturers also age the mate. Rosamonte Seleccion Especial is aged for 24 meses or two years. It's very strong.

As to the proper enjoyment. It is very easy to completely ruin mate. Any water temperature above 185 degrees Fahrenheit will kill the helpful enzymes, over extract the xanthines and tannins from the leaves and you will be left with a very bitter brew. I first made mate erroneously with a drip coffee maker and nearly soiled myself twice over 10 minutes later on my mad dash to the pisser.

More coming up.