Reasons why pipes are better than cigars...

[TheTraveler]

1. I don't have to dedicate so much of my time to a pipe each time I smoke one
2. its alot harder to smoke a pipe the wrong way round lol
3. When you smoke a pipe your IQ raises by 10 points
4. I can smoke a pipe hands-free without smoke getting in my eyes
5.I can be pretentious
6. I don't have to spend a paycheck to get 25 smokes
7. my wife doesn't avoid me when I smoke a pipe
8. What I left forgot about and left unsmoked the day before is FANTASTIC today.
9. When I finish a cigar I'm left with a stub and a band. When I finish a pipe I still have a beautiful piece of briar or meer.
10. I can smoke in the rain by simply turning the pipe upside down. (must be a straight rather than bent)
11. I can wear my tweed jacket with the patches and not get laughed at.
12. I can now attend an Ivy League University
13. I can smoke lots of different "blends" in my pipe.
14. Cougars think I have money.
15. humidors for pipe tobacco are free (any place you set the tin)
16. you can sell a smoked pipe and get back your initial investment
17. You'll never hear someone say, "Look at this beautiful 40+ year old cigar I found languishing in an antique shop. A little TLC and it'll be good as new!"
18. No sick period and no resting required with a tin of pipe tobacco.
19. You can store pipe tobacco in the trunk of you car all summer.
20. They are their own ashtray! No more dropping ash on my keyboard
21. I've got a better chance of getting away with smoking a pipe in the park near my work that is "no smoking."
22. Briar pipes are GREAT for rapping someone's knuckles.