Hell Explained-a goodie

[Scottw]

HELL AS EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question and answer from a University of
Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so
'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there many religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, the majority of the world's
religions will predict (by a vote of many to one) that any individual
soul will go to Hell. By extrapolation, it follows that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and further take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true. Thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! A corollary of this finding is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that Hell is not accepting any more souls and is effectively extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+