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Old 10-27-2008, 01:11 PM   #1
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Default 1792 Flake - Gawith's Nicotine Nuke

OK... a buddy gave me a heaping sample of this stuff. I knew that it was strong, but hell... I smoke a couple of bowls a day. How bad could it be?

Well lemme tell ya, this tobacco messed me up bad. Real bad.

The tobacco didn't smell all that funky to me. It was dark and rich looking, tasty. It was a ruse. The nice appearance belies the fact that this tobacco isn't strong. It's "OMGWTF" strong. I've never ever smoked anything even approaching this... and I can smoke Camacho sticks and double Ligero cigars without a problem.

The tobacco loaded up in the pipe easily after I broke the flakes a little. I didn't rub it out... just broke the flakes and then folded them into the bowl. It lit easily and the flakes smoldered nice and slow and cool. I never knew that the fires of death and destruction would be so innocent looking.

Upon drawing on the pipe, I found that the tobacco was there all right. Wow was it strong. It felt like I was smoking strips of rubber... sort of like drawng in the smoke from burning tires... not the taste... just the strength. Sheer overwhelming tar inside my pie-hole.

Well... next it got weird. The only thing that I can surmise is that the tobacco or tonquin was so damn strong that it short circuited my tastebud/brain interface. I swear that my brain was telling me that I was tasting things that weren't there.

You know how you smoke a pipe or cigar, and what you taste are not really tastes... but more like sensations. Sort of unnamed "meta-tastes" if you will. Well... my brain kept telling me that I was tasting... well... anchovies. No... the tobacco didn't taste or smell like fish at all... but my addled brain kept saying "You idiot! Quit burning the anchovies! WE DON'T SMOKE ANCHOVIES!!"

But I kept smoking. I wanted to see what this tobacco was like... but hells bells!

I felt like a Girl Scout who wandered into a UFC match... and I got slapped around like one too. After about half the bowl, I attempted to go empty that stuff out of my good Butz-Choquin Bulldog. Notice I said "attempted". Mainly because I couldn't stand upright. It actually made my head spin to the extent that I had to plop my butt back down and wait a few minutes to regain my composure.

That was last night, and I swear I'm still feeling the effects. I skipped my morning bowl of codger burley, and I'm wondering if I'll smoke at all tonight. Maybe something really really mild...

Where's that tin of "Hello Kitty Ultra-mild Cavendish" I had stashed away?
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