Funny

G G · 03-26-2009, 08:39 PM

[FONT=Times New Roman]Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever..
I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for
it. These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on
me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great day.

************************************************** **************

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you
and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out
your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to
mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When you
cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister
because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still
loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10
million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you
have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the
letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & ...Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

[/FONT]

03-26-2009, 08:39 PM	#1
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,725 Trading: (10)	Funny [FONT=Times New Roman]Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great day. ************************************************ ************ Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & ...Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. [/FONT]