I think this lady was on I-95 this morning...

[Steve]

A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you okay, ma'am?"

"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine," the lady chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the lady began. "I was driving along this road when I started to doze off. When I woke up this tree from out of nowhere pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth on your rear view mirror."