Nine important facts

nutcracker · 12-15-2014, 08:38 AM

Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:

Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich, you have a 50% chance of being right...

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

12-15-2014, 08:38 AM	#1
nutcracker Shameless epicurian Join Date: Apr 2014 First Name: Neil Location: Winnipeg, Canada - Home of the Jets! Posts: 1,631 Trading: (26)	Nine important facts Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older: Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world. Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich, you have a 50% chance of being right... Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. ...and as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long. __________________ "Well I ain't often right but I've never been wrong.... Jerry Garcia (R.I.P.)