That Darn Cat

[smokin5]

We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and dancing evening.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered
our pet canary, and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local
taxi company and requested a cab to pick us up.

The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted
back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because
she always tries to get at the canary. My wife walked on out to the taxi
while I went back inside to get the cat.

The cat ran upstairs with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night.
So she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. "He's just
going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said as
we drove away. "That stupid b!tch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her in the ass with a coat hangar to get her to come out! She
tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her
in a blanket to keep her from scratching me, but it worked! Finally I
hauled her fat azz downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
She better not sh!t in the vegetable garden again!"
.
.
The cabbie didn't say a word to us the whole ride.