My wife is trying to kill me.

[RUNYYFan]

One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City police precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she's gonna kill ya? Did she threaten to kill ya?"

"No," replied the nervous immigrant.

"Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"

"No."

"Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"

"No."

"Then why in the world did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the exasperated police officer.

"Because I found a bottle on dresser and I think she's gonna poison me!"

He handed the police officer the suspect bottle. The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.

The immigrant became indignant and said, "What's so funny? Can't you see the label on bottle says 'Polish Remover'?"