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Old 03-13-2013, 01:04 PM   #1
MajorCaptSilly
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Default Clacko the Clown

Clacko wasn't the best clown in the world but certainly wasn't the worst. He could make a good balloon animal and had some great magic tricks. Clacko's greatest skill, however, was the pratfall. Clacko maintained a clause in his contract that he would be provided with an area of at least 100 square feet for his performance so that he would have adequate room for a good landing.

Clacko was hired to perform his biggest birthday celebration ever. The owner of the local John Deere dealership was throwing a big shindig for his 8-year-old boy, Rufus. Rufus' dad invited every family in town that had a child from age 0 to 12 to the party. There were more than 100 families in attendance at the party which was held at the John Deere dealership. All the tractors were removed from the enormous showroom so there was plenty of room for all the people, the buffet, the cake, and of course, Clacko the Clown.

The party was a huge success. It was one of those few events that absolutely nothing could go wrong. The food was great and plentiful. The children were well-behaved, and not even a single balloon popped during the event which meant no startled children.

Clacko the Clown was in the zone. This was his biggest event ever and he knew that if it went well, he would get bookings for every birthday for every child in the place. Clacko's makeup was perfect and he even purchased a brand new wig, nose, and shoes. He made his way to the performance area which was larger than his contract required. Clacko mesmerized children and adults alike with magic tricks, balloon animals (not just animals but DRAGONS!), and a series of tasteful but funny jokes that everyone found hilarious.

It was near the end of Clacko's perfect performance. Clacko the Clown had prepared his best pratfall ever. His intention was to do an amazing ballet dance to "Flight of the Bumblebee" and at the end of a huge jump, slip on a banana peel and fall on his butt. Upon landing, Clacko rigged several confetti bombs in his suit that would be triggered as soon as his butt hit the ground. As he went down, the confetti would go up in a cloud and land all around him.

As was the case for the rest of the party, Clacko's finale was pure perfection. The crowd was amazed that he could move so gracefully wearing those huge shoes. His pratfall was legendary. As he hit the banana peel, both legs came up a full three feet and his confetti bombs all detonated right on cue. The crowd cheered and started chanting Clacko! Clacko! Clacko!

As the party was winding down, Rufus' dad brought Rufus over to thank Clacko for the great performace. Rufus went right up to Clacko and shook his hand and said "This was my best birthday ever!". Rufus' dad asked Rufus if there was anything else he wanted to say to Clacko. Rufus thought for a bit then said "I don't plan on carrying on the family business of selling tractors. My passion lies in anthropology."


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