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01-16-2009, 11:26 AM | #1 |
Adjusting to the Life
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Colibri group declared dead 8:30 AM PST
The Colibri group AKA "Oh sh-t this lighter is going to explode!" was declared dead at 88 AM South Pacific time this morning. The cause of death is unknown at this time but a perliminary autopsy indicates that the six hundred immobile mentally challenged man known simply as "The Colibri group" died of a coronary infraction caused by a defective replacement valve manufactured in Carjackastan.
Mr. Colibri is mourned by tens of thousands of North Korean, Iraqi and Iranian wage slaves employed for pennies an hour assembling cheap lighters prone to never work in the first place or to get so hot that you barely have time to throw them out the front door before they explode with a window shattering bang. Mr. Colibri's former business partners include Thompson's Cigars, The former USSR, The Kazakhstan resistence front and anyone who wanted to get a crateload of devices that may or may not cause fire as intended for three and a half cents per megaton. Colibri now joins the ranks of other things considered dead such as "Michael Jacksons Blackness", and "William Shatners toupe" and Illinois Governor's Rob Blagovoych's political career" |