Just in time for graduation

[markem]

It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
"Let's try to make this look natural "she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad's shoulder."
The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

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A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
'I would do anything to pass this exam.'
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
'I mean...' she whispers, '...I would do...
**anything**!!!'
He returns her gaze. 'Anything???'
'Yes,... Anything!!!'
His voice turns to a whisper. 'Would you...... study???'

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A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk."
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:


1. No need to boil.
2. Never goes sour.
3. Available whenever necessary.

So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

He received an A.

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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a
smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."


"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.


"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."

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Some quotes:

Robert Orben
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Garry Trudeau
Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

Proverb
You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Oscar Wilde
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.