I smoked an Acid Kuba Kuba

12-04-2008, 02:14 PM

Someone gave me a Kuba Kuba.

No, OK, so, really, I had been wondering why these get such a bad rap. I had genuinely been wanting to try a flavored cigar. I was actually looking forward to this cigar.

It was gifted to me in a small plastic ziplock. I opened the bag, the initial smell wasn't "bad", but just different. It smelled faintly of my wife's shampoo, but not overpowering. Still kinda-sorta smelled like a cigar too.

I took the stick out of its celo and was impressed. The band is nothing special, but the wrapper and cap were beautiful. Whoever rolled my Kuba did a damn fine job, and it clipped cleanly too. Then I made my first mistake and put the stick in my mouth...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, what on earth did I just put my lips on?!?!?!?! (note, I hadn't uttered this phrase since I was single and out dating some sketchy gals)

OK, wasn't ready for the sweetened tip. Now that I'm ready for it, I try again. Draw is perfect. I have nothing but good things to say about the construction of this stick. I fired it up...

"this thing smells like a hippy"

Do they dip them in patchouli oil then rub em in dirt or something? I wasn't sure, but within two or three puffs the tobacco aroma/flavor kicked in strong with a nice peppery note hiding the other aromas and I thought to myself, "I can see why some people smoke these". I started my walk...

By the next block something changed. Either the portion of the stick I was smoking was totally devoid of flavor, or the scent/aromas/toxins/rat poision they add to the stick had melted away my taste buds. Wasn't sure which, but the hippy aroma was still present so my nose was unharmed. Being a glutton for punishment I pressed on...

by the 1/3 mark the stick had settled into a pretty consistent mix of strong tobacco, pepper, and hippy, with the sweetened tip starting to mellow out. Unsure of the presence of any mind-altering chemicals added to the stick, my thoughts flipfloped between, "this is the worst cigar I have ever tasted" and "I suppose I can understand why some people like these". I paused on my walk at a park bench far away from any other (conscious) people and puffed away.

The stick held an ash all the way to the 1/2 point and required only one minor touchup. Again, I can't say enough good things about the construction of the Kuba. Really top notch.

Shortly before the 2/3 mark things got ugly. My Kuba came into its own and suddenly I understood the descriptions I've read about these before: "It's like licking gogo dancer panties soaked in head shop lamp oil." Ah, yes, exactly. I understand.

I pitched it. I stood up, thusly making my second mistake. I sat back down.

OK, so Kubas pack a pretty big nic kick too! Did not know this... Granted this was before lunch, but still, I didn't expect 2/3 of a fat robusto to hit me so hard. I floated back to the office with the hippy aroma following me the entire way. I dropped my jacket off in my car as to not bring too much aroma back into the office with me, and went through 5 Altoids to try and clear the toxins.

What can I say? Is it a unique product? Absolutely! Is the construction top shelf? You bet! Is it for me? No way!

I was gifted two. I think I'm going to put a DPG band on the other one and play a practical joke on someone.

12-04-2008, 02:14 PM	#1
petewho Guest Posts: n/a	I smoked an Acid Kuba Kuba Someone gave me a Kuba Kuba. No, OK, so, really, I had been wondering why these get such a bad rap. I had genuinely been wanting to try a flavored cigar. I was actually looking forward to this cigar. It was gifted to me in a small plastic ziplock. I opened the bag, the initial smell wasn't "bad", but just different. It smelled faintly of my wife's shampoo, but not overpowering. Still kinda-sorta smelled like a cigar too. I took the stick out of its celo and was impressed. The band is nothing special, but the wrapper and cap were beautiful. Whoever rolled my Kuba did a damn fine job, and it clipped cleanly too. Then I made my first mistake and put the stick in my mouth... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, what on earth did I just put my lips on?!?!?!?! (note, I hadn't uttered this phrase since I was single and out dating some sketchy gals) OK, wasn't ready for the sweetened tip. Now that I'm ready for it, I try again. Draw is perfect. I have nothing but good things to say about the construction of this stick. I fired it up... "this thing smells like a hippy" Do they dip them in patchouli oil then rub em in dirt or something? I wasn't sure, but within two or three puffs the tobacco aroma/flavor kicked in strong with a nice peppery note hiding the other aromas and I thought to myself, "I can see why some people smoke these". I started my walk... By the next block something changed. Either the portion of the stick I was smoking was totally devoid of flavor, or the scent/aromas/toxins/rat poision they add to the stick had melted away my taste buds. Wasn't sure which, but the hippy aroma was still present so my nose was unharmed. Being a glutton for punishment I pressed on... by the 1/3 mark the stick had settled into a pretty consistent mix of strong tobacco, pepper, and hippy, with the sweetened tip starting to mellow out. Unsure of the presence of any mind-altering chemicals added to the stick, my thoughts flipfloped between, "this is the worst cigar I have ever tasted" and "I suppose I can understand why some people like these". I paused on my walk at a park bench far away from any other (conscious) people and puffed away. The stick held an ash all the way to the 1/2 point and required only one minor touchup. Again, I can't say enough good things about the construction of the Kuba. Really top notch. Shortly before the 2/3 mark things got ugly. My Kuba came into its own and suddenly I understood the descriptions I've read about these before: "It's like licking gogo dancer panties soaked in head shop lamp oil." Ah, yes, exactly. I understand. I pitched it. I stood up, thusly making my second mistake. I sat back down. OK, so Kubas pack a pretty big nic kick too! Did not know this... Granted this was before lunch, but still, I didn't expect 2/3 of a fat robusto to hit me so hard. I floated back to the office with the hippy aroma following me the entire way. I dropped my jacket off in my car as to not bring too much aroma back into the office with me, and went through 5 Altoids to try and clear the toxins. What can I say? Is it a unique product? Absolutely! Is the construction top shelf? You bet! Is it for me? No way! I was gifted two. I think I'm going to put a DPG band on the other one and play a practical joke on someone.