The Quest for Perfect Humidity

It all started simply enough. I was new to cigar smoking. I bought a humidor at the Orange County swap meet for the staggering sum of $30.00. It had a pretty, shiny finish and was cedar-lined, just like the experts said I needed. I asked the fella who sold me that box of dreams "What humidity should I store my cigars at?" His eyes lit up and he gave me the "70% humidity and 70 degrees Fahrenheit" speech. You've all heard it, I won't go into it again. He sold me the propylene glycol solution for my puck humidification device.

Here's where the trouble starts...

The humidity isn't 70%. It's 65%, then it's 75%. Grrrrrr! I'm going to ruin my cigars! I try less solution in the puck. Then more solution in the puck. Nothing works. In despair, I head down to my local cigar shop and do the unthinkable...ask for advice. I tell the fella behind the counter my problem and his eyes light up. He gives me the "analog hygrometers are notoriously inaccurate" speech. You've all heard it, I won't go into it again. He sold me a digital hygrometer for my little humidor.



Here's where the trouble starts...

The humidity isn't 70%. It's 68%, then it's 72%. Grrrrrr! I'm going to ruin my cigars! I try less solution in the puck. Then more solution in the puck. Nothing works. In despair, I head down to my local cigar shop and do the unthinkable...ask for advice. I tell the fella behind the counter my problem and his eyes light up. He gives me the "puck humidifiers don't work" speech. You've all heard it, I won't go into it again. He sold me a diamond crown humidifier for my little humidor.



I'm starting to get the feeling this guy promotes Diamond Crown products.

Here's where the trouble starts...

I find these cigar forums on the computer. They have these experts. I start listening to these experts. They say that I shouldn't be storing my cigars at 70 degrees and 70% RH. I should be storing them at 65% humidity. I feel betrayed. That guy at the cigar shop was supposed to be an expert. He gave me bad information. He doesn't know what these cigar gods on CigarAsylum know. So, I slide the little windows further closed on the humidifier to bring my humidity down. And they're right! My cigars do smoke better. I have a smoother draw, fewer burn problems and an overall better smoking experience. Now, they're REALLY cigar gods at CigarAsylum!

Here's where the trouble starts...

I get a new, bigger humidor from Waxing Moon. It's a beauty! It's got trays inside it, it's a joy to look at! But it's bigger than my other humidor. Clearly, I will need to open up some of those little windows on my humidifier. I patiently season the humidor and load it up with it's precious cargo.



The humidity isn't 65%. It's 63%, then it's 68%. Grrrrrr! I'm going to ruin my cigars! I try less solution in the humidifier. Then more solution in the humidifier. Nothing works. In despair, I head down to my local cigar shop and do the unthinkable...WAIT! I'm not gonna do that again! I'm going to turn to those cigar gods. They will know what to do! I see over and over again that I should get beads. The cigar gods have spoken, I must get beads.

Here's where the trouble starts...

I go on to the website for Heartfelt and do the calculus algorithms required to calculate the amount of beads for my humidor. Following the advice of the cigar gods, I get twice the amount of beads required for my humidor so that it will recover quickly when I open the humidor. I buy the large 65% beadcase and attach it to the inside lid of my humidor and wait patiently.



Here's where the trouble starts...

The humidity isn't 65%. It's 64%, then it's 67%. Grrrrrr! I'm going to ruin my cigars! Those guys on CigarAsylum don't know what they're talking about! I feel betrayed. I did everything they said. I got the beads. I got more than was required. I used distilled water.

I'm depressed.

I can't even bear to look at my precious cargo that I'm sure is ruined. 3 days pass, then 5, then 8. Finally, I must look at the carnage that surely resides in my beautiful humidor. I open the lid and my jaw drops...those two little digits stare at me with their electronic gaze. I see that beautiful 6 nestled up against 5. I have finally achieved the perfect humidity!! Angels sing, light from the heavens basks down upon my humidor. I feel a need to celebrate! I reach in and grab one of those Padron 64s I love so much. I go and sit down on my patio and enjoy that luscious smoke.

As I walk back inside, I feel the urge to open the lid of my humidor and look at that gauge again. Trembling, I wait for it to pass. Don't do it! You've been blessed with the gift of Perfect Humidity. You know that gift is precious. It can only be gazed upon on those rare special occasions. Have faith, young warrior. Those special digits will be there for you when you pluck that precious cargo from it's slumber the next time. If you look for it too many times, it will not be there for you!

Here's where the pleasure starts...