Just a couple quick ones

[SvilleKid]

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then, try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, "Yesterday."







And this expresses my thoughts well:


In an interview, Kim Kardashian has stated that if she were a man, she would want to have sex with Kim Kardashian. Well she may not be a man, but she can go fu#k herself anyway.