What I said, is not what you heard.

[Bluetick]

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in
this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot
tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I
want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and
this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face
me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and
in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your
transgression."

Again, all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead
gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from
the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,
"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you
were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends
that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his
knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.